Better Than Revenge

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

I bet you thought I'd take a day off, huh?  Nope.  I've got more to say!

Actually, I've been working on this in my head for while.  But it wasn't until tonight when I read Meri's post about how she does not think about Diabetes - as a whole - all that much because it takes her to a dark place, that I knew I had to post it.

I so get that.  Diabetes can take me to a dark place, too.  When I start getting ahead of myself, worrying about what will happen when she goes to first grade... or college...  When I think about what those high blood sugars are doing to her body.  When I see tears run down her cheeks because she's scared.  I go there.  

I hate it.  Sometimes I get sad.  Sometimes I push it away.  Sometimes I get mad and angry.  Like Meri said, "psycho angry".  

And sometimes.... I want revenge.

** Warning.... this post may totally convince you that I am, in fact, totally out of my mind.  Proceed with caution.... I warned you...**

You see...  Sometimes I view Diabetes as a person or being of some kind.  Maybe it helps me have some control over it.  I don't know.

If you met me, you'd probably think I was nice and sweet.  I'm kindergarten teacher for God's sake!  We're known for being sweet!  But...  don't cross me.  I get this from my mother.  Cross me, and you'll be sorry.  I don't ever forget.  And if you mess with my kid.... Watch out.  I WILL get you.  You should sleep with one eye open.  I'm just sayin'....


So.....  


When I heard Taylor Swift's new song, "Better Than Revenge" - I. LOVED. IT.


LOVED.  IT.


And then....  I made up my own lyrics.  


Instead of singing this song to a girl who stole away my boyfriend, MY version is about Diabetes.  And how it stole away my daughter - her health, her pancreas....


It's playing right now - #1 on the playlist.


Here's what you need to do...

Go over to the playlist ( you may have to scroll down a little...) and click the button that is pointing to the left.  That's rewind.  Then read along with MY lyrics to get the full effect of this song....


Here we go....


Better Than Revenge

The story starts when it was cold 
and it was winter and
I had it all.  
I had a healthy little family.

D came along
Got her alone
And let's hear the applause
D took her faster than you can say sabotage

I never saw it coming
Wouldn't have suspected it.
I underestimated
Just what I was dealing with.

D had to know
the thirst was beating on her like a drum
D underestimated 
Just who it was stealing from.

D's not so safe and it's not what you think
It's auto immune, whoa
D's better known for the things that it does 
To the Type 2's, whoa

Soon D's gonna find
Attacking sweet little kids
On the playground
Won't make you many friends.

D should keep in mind
D should keep in mind
There is nothing I do 
Better than revenge

D makes you crazy with a 
very long prescription list
Test strips, lancets, insets
Insurance just can't cover it

I find it's ever present spikes
A little troubling
You may think I'm psycho
Cuz I know the carbs for everything

D doesn't care about what you wear
Or who you know
It can strike you at any age or time
That's so

They've yet to cure it in the lab
It's up to you and me
Cuz no amount of insulin
Will give you a reprieve

D's not so safe and it's not what you think
It's auto immune, whoa
D's better known for the things that it does 
To the Type 2's, whoa

Soon D's gonna find
Attacking sweet little kids
On the playground
Won't win you many friends.

D should keep in mind
D should keep in mind
There is nothing I do 
Better than revenge

You're just another thing
For her to deal with, honey
You might have her 
But haven't you heard?

You're just another thing
for her to have to deal with, honey
You might have her pancreas
But I'll always get the last word
Whoa

D's not so safe and it's not what you think
It's auto immune, whoa
D's better known for the things that it does 
To the Type 2's, whoa

Soon D's gonna find
Attacking sweet little kids
On the playground
Won't win you many friends.

D should keep in mind
D should keep in mind
There is nothing I do 
Better than revenge

And do you still feel like
you know what you're doing
Cuz I don't think  you do

Do you still feel like
you know what you're doing
I don't think you do
I don't think you do

Let's hear the applause
We'll show you how much stronger we are
You don't deserve the applause
We're so much stronger
D took her faster than you can say sabotage




Ok, so slightly crazy, right??

But it makes me feel better.  For me, when I get angry - I get productive!
I can deal with something better if I'm angry rahter than if I'm sad.  

This is just one of the many ways that I deal with the overwhelmingness of Diabetes as a whole.  What it means to us as a family.  What it means to Sweetpea.  The long term implications - and complications.


Like Meri, I'd be in a deep, dark pit if I focused on that.  

So I get angry.
And I sing.

I hope you'll sing, too!


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14 comments:

  1. i heart you. Im in that bad place this week. These posts help. Xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  2. I will sing! I will! And just between you and me...and I guess everyone who reads this comment...I often make my own words up to songs too...or at the very least change a couple words around so it will apply to me.

    Nope. I don't think you are crazy. In fact, I think I even like you more right now...and THAT is sayin a lot...'cause I already like you A LOT.

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  3. I LOVE the new lyrics! They fit perfectly! I do the same thing with songs. I love music and the way it affects my attitude. It always brings a smile to my face when you come up with songs that fit with your post. Love ya!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Oh my gosh . . .. AWCHSUM! I didn't even have to go to the playlist because Taylor Swift is played on my daughter's speakers e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y!!! I know that song all too well. Happy I get to sing some different lyrics to it now ;)

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  5. LOVE LOVE LOVE THIS!!!!! This would be so awesome for a JDRF Walk! :)

    I'm glad to hear people make up words for songs too!

    Have an awesome day!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh, I've been there. Mentally I imagine "controlling" my D as stepping on its neck every day until it's cold and dead. Or so I wish...!

    Hope the Delica arrives in one piece!

    ReplyDelete
  7. ah that was amazing! I totally sang too.
    I've made my own lyrics to songs too!
    I did "Party in the USA" by Miley Cyrus.
    I changed the lyrics to "every things gonna be okay" ect
    being creative is just one of the great ways to let go on anger on D!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I love you and your crazy self -
    I don't think you are crazy - crazy --- super, fun, crazy! I love that song and your words.

    If we didn't have some creative outlet we would all be in that dark place!!

    Keep singing,Friend!

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  9. Too funny Hallie! Yeah...I think you are CRAZIER than me - LOL and J/K. I am notorious for messing up lyrics and making up songs too.

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  10. I'm a fan of that song. The original AND your version. :)

    ReplyDelete
  11. This is what makes me love you even more! Crazy is good :-)....LOL! I will never think of anything else but D when I hear this song! I will sing too!

    ReplyDelete
  12. D....go get in that corner NOW!!

    ReplyDelete

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