Saturday, May 29, 2010

A Very Welcome Houseguest

Someone new has been visiting our family this past week.



I've been so occupied with our house guest that I have not had time to blog about her! But now I will.



Her name is Dexie and all three of us are totally, completely, 100% over the moon in LOVE with her!



Last week, I called our Dexcom rep and asked about the possibility of trying a cgm. I was tired of waiting for the hospital to get it together. The wonderful lady that I talked to said that it was no problem and she would put one in the mail.



Dexie arrived last Friday.




A little background.... "Dexie" is a cgm - or continuous glucose monitor made by the company Dexcom. From the Dexcom website: "A CGM system is a device that you wear to measure glucose levels in real-time, day and night — even during sleep it's watching out for you. This is like seeing up to 288 fingersticks daily, but unlike fingersticks, you see so much more than just a number. You see continuous glucose information, the direction your glucose is headed, and the speed it's moving." A cgm measures the level of glucose in the TISSUE, not the blood. It does NOT replace fingersticks. We still must prick her fingers and test her blood. We have been told that glucose level in the blood is more accurate. So we must always test a finger before we take action. The cgm measure the amount of glucose in the tissue every 10 seconds and gives you a reading of the average amount of glucose every 5 minutes. This is great! But for us, the best part, is the trending information. To see where she is going and where she has been is PRICELESS!


We have no rep that lives close to us.... so we were on our own with the insertion and education. I watched the videos on the Dexcom website a few times and it seemed easy enough. Simple, really.



So.... Saturday night we gave it a try. After Sweetpea was sleeping peacefully in bed, we crept into her room and inserted Dexie. She barely moved. It was easy peasy lemon squeezy!



The next morning I introduced her to Dexie! She thought Dexie was pretty cool. She, too, was obsessed with checking to "see what Dexie says". (Did I mention that I could not sleep the previous night, with all the Dexie checking that was going on? And how my love for her was sealed when I checked her in the morning and she showed a steady 150 bg?)



We inserted Dexie into Sweetpea's rump. She has Dexie on one cheek and her pump site on the other. Sweetpea did NOT EVEN REALIZE that Dexie was there until a few days later when we did a site change. "What is THAT?" she asked. "That's Dexie. You didn't know it was there? You never saw it when you went to the bathroom." Crazy look.... "Uh, NO. It's purple. I like it." (for the record, it is not purple. It's more of a gray. But purple is her favorite color so I'm not pointing this out.)


This is what the transmitter looks like:

And this is what the transmitter looks like when it's when it is snapped into the sensor. The sensor is the part that is inserted under her skin. Once together, they form a waterproof pod. So she can bathe and swim to her heart's content!



It IS a little big and it DOES make a little bulge that can be see under her clothes. But right now, that's not an issue for us.


I tried putting another pouch onto her pump pouch but it was just too heavy. So, we are using another pouch. This one she wears in the back. We ask to see Dexie and she sticks her rump out for us to get to the pouch.



"Mommy, I think I like Dexie." Sweetpea said to me the other night. I'm so glad. That's why we wanted to do a trial... to see what it would be like to wear another site and another pouch. That was one of the big reasons I held back about it. But it's no big deal. She does not seem to mind it at all. And honestly, I think it makes her feel more comfortable to know it's there.



As for ME - LOVE. Love, I tell you!



Is it perfect? No. Sometimes it's just a point or two off. Sometimes it's about 20 points off. But.... I now feel like I'm not totally blind as to what is going on in her body.



It's already made a difference in how we treat her diabetes.



For example, the other night at bedtime she was 96. That's a little too low for a bedtime number for us. Normally we would have given her a few grams. BUT... Dexie said she was steady. So we waited. And we watched. And guess what? She came up on her own. Had we give her the extra carbs she would have been WAY too high.



AND... we have been able to see what certain food does to her bg. And "low" treats. We have learned that juice sends her up but not as fast and as high as smarties. Smarties are deadly. Good when she's really low. But if not.... horrible. She goes VERY high VERY fast.




Watching her bg with Dexie has also led us to make another major change in the way we treat her diabetes. We have started prebolusing her food. I knew that food made her bg go up. But to SEE it..... totally different. We were never pressured by the hospital to prebolus. It's really hard to do with a young child - at least OUR young child who never eats the same things and often only eats little bits of food. She eats healthy food - but she does NOT eat a lot of it. However, we are trying. We are guessing how much we think she'll eat and bolusing a "safe" number. Then when she's done, she bolus the rest. And it's working. Her numbers are looking steadier already! Baby steps!



So.... Dexie is a keeper! For sure!



Only thing is.... Dexie isn't a keeper. She's a loaner. And she has to go back by next Saturday. (And next Saturday is my birthday. Not fair.)



HOW am I going to give her back? Now that I know what she does? Now that I know how great she is? Now that I am relying her to help me keep my baby safe? HOW???



I have been proactive. I got my stuff together the Monday after Dexie arrived and faxed it to the company. I sent them the insurance info, the copies of the insurance cards, the release forms and 60 days of blood sugar logs. They are looking for numbers under 50. In the past 60 days, she had 8 bg's under 50. She had 12 under 60.



I talked to the Dexcom Dude in Cali on Thursday night. As soon as he gets our letter of medical necessity for our Doc, he thinks we're good to go. So.... I am keeping my fingers crossed that we will get our OWN Dexie very, very soon.



I sure hope so!



Because we are in LOVE!

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Sunday, May 16, 2010

Dream a Little Dream

Diabetes Blog Week - Day 7


** The songs for the day were "What a Wonderful World" by Nat King Cole and "Dream a Little Dream" by The Mamas and the Papas. **

Our instructions for today....

To wrap up Diabetes Blog Week, let’s pretend a cure has been found. We are all given a tiny little pill to swallow and *poof* our pancreases are back in working order. No side effects. No more insulin resistance. No more diabetes. Tell us what your life is now like. Or take us through your first day celebrating life without the Big D. Blog about how you imagine you would feel if you no longer were a Person With Diabetes.



Wow.



As much as I work for a cure, I have not given much thought to what life WITHOUT D would really be like. It's one of those "too good to be true" things. But it does not take me long to come up with a whole list of things that we would do if diabetes ceased to exist.



We would...



SLEEP. Through the night. Night after night after night after night....



Never set an alarm to go off at 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 again. And certainly never set an alarm for ALL those times.



Never hold my breath when I go into wake her up in the morning - because I would no longer fear that she has passed away in the middle of the night.



Sweets would never be woken up in the middle of the night to drink juice.



Buy every color and kind of Peep made and let her ENJOY them!



Enjoy a meal without counting carbs, giving insulin, and recording it all in our little blue book.



Forget the carb values for every food imaginable.



Sweets would get to have playdates at a friends house - because it would no longer be too much to ask.



Not interrupt playtime, dance, gymnastics, SCHOOL to check blood sugar.



Not worry if she fell down. Not hold my breath until she gets up.



Sweetpea's fingertips would no longer always look dirty - because all those millions of little bruises and holes from bg checks would heal and disappear forever.



Sweetpea's rump would no longer have little red marks all over it because we would no longer be inserting a needle into her body and connecting an insulin pump.



I would no longer see my child's blood every. single. day.



Sweets could go to slumber parties with her friends.



Sweets could drive a car without having to test bg first.



Sweets could go away to college without being hounded by a frantic mother about her bg. ( I KNOW this will happen.)



Sweets would live a long, healthy life - and things like HEART ATTACK, STROKE, NEUROPATHY, BLINDNESS, AMPUTATIONS, KIDNEY FAILURE... would not be part of her reality.



We would throw a party - no, a PARTY! We would serve things like pizza, ice cream, cake, and cookies with no worries. We would not watch every bite that she takes. We would have a bonfire and make smores. We would throw into the fire ALL OF OUR SUPPLIES. In go the syringes, the insulin, the sets, the tegaderm, the numbing cream, the alcohol wipes, the lancets, the finger prickers, the meters, the strips, the cases, the pouches, the ketone strips, the blood ketone tester and blood ketone strips....



We would save one of each supply and put it into a shadow box and hang in prominently in our house so that every day we see WHAT WAS and give thanks to God for what now IS.



But before any of that...



I would fall to my knees and weep.



For a long, long time.





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Wednesday, May 12, 2010

A LIttle Help from My Friends

Diabetes Blog Week.... Day 3



Today we are to write about our biggest supporters. At first glance, I thought this was easy peasy lemon squeezy! But as I have thought about it... the list keeps getting longer and longer....
*** The song today was "With a Little Help From My Friends" by Joe Cocker. I'm sorry if you missed it. I'll keep it on the playlist just in case you want to the mood music while you read!***

I do feel like Laura said... like I'm accepting an Academy Award! Only thing is.... here there are no signs to let me know that I only have a few seconds left. Good thing. I'd never make it....



Sit down and get comfy.... here goes...



1. My husband, Jason

. He and I were talking about this post and he was asking who I was going to write about and he was like, "What about ME? Am I chopped liver?" And it made me think... So often, he and I are on the same page about things. I'd say a good deal of what I write is how he feels too. In fact, I often write as if it's from BOTH of us, without even thinking about it. So I didn't immediately think of him in that role - as a supporter. Because he is no supporting actor in this drama. He's the leading man!



Jason is my partner in every sense of the word. He's a hands-on Dad. From the moment she was born, he's been right there. He has done it all. Poopy diapers. Nighttime feedings. Cleaning up puke. ALL. OF. IT. D has been no different. THANK GOD he was there the day she was diagnosed. I could not imagine going thru that experience without him by my side. He was there to hold me when I cried. And boy, did I cry. A LOT. He told me it would be ok. He held it together when I was falling apart.



Jason goes to every appointment. We both do. Yes, we're THAT family. He knows every bit as much about D as I do. He can do it all and do it well. I do not worry AT ALL when she's with him. We share D responsibilities. We take turns doing night checks. One night is me, one night is him. The other person has to put her to bed (which has become a NIGHTMARE ever since dx).



SO, it's hard for me to say he's my supporter. Because that insinuates that he is below me in some way. And he's not. He's standing by side. Through thick and thin. He's the greatest and I love him dearly.


2. My Parents. Gaga and Mimi!



I could not ask for better parents. They are awesome! My friends have always loved my parents because they are so much fun. And they are! It's no surprise that Avery adores them!


My parents have totally stepped up to the plate. You may know or may not... I am an only child. Avery is an only child (although she talks about her brothers and sisters all the time.... don't buy it - totally make believe!). So you can imagine the adoration and spoiling going on here! HUGE!


I know I've said it before but I'll say it again... Mom and Dad were THERE for us. They came to the hospital on Dx day before we could even call and tell them to come. They came EVERY SINGLE DAY. The learned with us. They also go to most of our appointments. To either watch Avery so we can learn, or to learn themselves. They can do it - they learned how to take care of her. Dad gave her shots in the hospital. Mom has her own little book of carb counts for the things she eats. Mom even has her own D bag of supplies that she carries around everywhere.



If it were not for them, we'd be LOST. I would have had to quit my job - because WHO is going take care of a newly dx'd 3 year old? WHO would be willing to give her shots? WHO would I even trust to DO that? No one but them!



Although there are many times I WISH I could stay home with Avery, I can't. We need the money and most importantly - we need the insurance. I carry the insurance. And it's good insurance. So them watching her every day is such a blessing. I love that she gets to spend time with them and that she is making such great memories with them. They love her to pieces.



They do a GREAT job with D- even though I KNOW it's scary and complicated. They watch her so we can go out by ourselves sometimes. They are THE BEST! I can't imagine doing this without them. They GET IT. And even though I'm in my (very early) 30's, I still need my parents. And so I could not be more thankful that they are there for ME. For US. I love them dearly, too!


3. Our NP, K, and the team at Cincinnati Children's.


They have been amazing. From day 1! They didn't push us in the hospital. They helped us learn at our own pace. They encouraged us. The understood when I kept breaking down in tears! They are there for us - day or night. We can ALWAYS reach someone. And someone who will HELP! I still call in regularly for help with numbers. They are always there. Willing to help. I could not ask for a better team of professionals to have behind us. They are AWESOME!!! I feel like they TRULY care about us. We are not just a number to them. They know us. They care about us. What a gift!



4. My Friends


My friends are super! They are so willing to learn about D and want to learn to take care of Ave. They want to help so badly. They listen to me rant or complain. They understand when I'm so tired I don't make sense. They put up with me when I forget something. They know that our lives changed that day. And they want to be a part of this new life. And that is so amazing. I was worried at first that we wouldn't be much fun to hang out with anymore. That we would be too complicated. Not so. We may be - but they love us anyway. They love Avery like she's their own. What more could I ask for? You see, they aren't 'just' friends. They are family. They are sisters.


5. YOU


The DOC! If it was not for you, I'd be a very bitter, angry person who probably spent lots of time grumbling to myself. SERIOUSLY. I can not even express what it means to have people who GET IT - truly GET IT. People who are there with me - in the trenches - fighting this war with me. This is an amazing group. D MOMs (and Dads) are a FORCE. You mess with one of us, you best watch your back. We are also a family. A family whose bonds have been forged through sleepless nights, struggles, triumph, pain, heartache, and joy. It's really like fighting a war and the bonds you develop with your fellow soldiers. Because it IS life or death here on the front lines. And I could not have imagined what a priceless gift you all are! I hate this war. But I LOVE that I get to battle with YOU and I could not ask for better people to have my back!



6. The girls at school.


As you know, I work with an amazing group of people and Avery gets to go to school with them, too! Everyone I work with has been understanding. Everyone cares. Everyone cuts me a little slack when I mess up or I'm not there or not all there or something. These are great people. I love them all! They love Avery- and I could not ask for more!


Specifically, Avery's teachers - Mrs. V, Mrs. W, and Mrs. S in the clinic - YOU ARE AMAZING! You don't know how awesome you are or what you mean to us! You LOVE her. You truly LOVE her. THANK YOU! I feel so safe when she's with you because I know you will take care of her. Not only are you teaching her wonderful things and making her way, way, way too smart, you are keeping her safe and healthy. that's not a give for us parents of D kids. That is a special gift. I can not thank you enough for all that you do. There is no way I could if I tried. You also love her like she's your own. There just really is no better gift!




This life is crazy. It's hard. It's hard to understand from the outside. We're like our own little subculture....


I'm a different person that I was... before. I'm a different person that I would have been. It can be hard to be on the outside of that. I'm sure people don't know what to say. I know people don't know what to do with that.


So, THANK YOU - to all of you. THANK YOU for reading. THANK YOU for listening. THANK YOU for crying with us. THANK YOU for laughing with us. THANK YOU for helping and offering to help. THANK YOU for wanting to know more.



But most of all- THANK YOU for LOVING us. We love you!



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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day!

I hope everyone is having a wonderful day! I find myself even more grateful on days like this - so thankful to have my little girl and so glad to be her Mama. And also, so thankful to have such a wonderful mother of my own. If it wasn't for my mom, I wouldn't know what being a great mother looked like. She has shown me - and continues to show to me each day. I wrote about how great my Mom is in a post I wrote on her birthday. You can read it here - and you should because she is really special!

We celebrated by getting manicures and pedicures! It was so fun - but I felt kind of bad. I was so incredibly exhausted that I could barely make conversation. We'd had a bad night - but I might save that explanation for tomorrow! Sweets got her first manicure and her little nails look so cute! We also went out to eat today! I got this fantabulous mother's day gift along with a beautiful necklace and bracelet charms..... you ready for this?..... you might want to sit down.... you're going to be jealous..... I got to sleep for.... wait for it.... 12 HOURS UNINTERRUPTED! My wonderful husband checked overnight AND let me sleep in the next day. It was incredible. I looked in the mirror today and saw a glimmer of the "old" me. I actually looked almost rested. What a guy! What a gift!

Thank you to my wonderful family for making this such a special day!

I read this poem on Ronda's blog and loved it - and wanted to share.


HOW GOD SELECTS THE MOTHER OF A CHILD WITH DIABETES
by Erma Bombeck

Most women become mothers by accident, some by choice, a few by social pressures and a couple by habit. Did you ever wonder how mothers of children with diabetes are chosen? Somehow I visualize God hovering over earth selecting his instruments for propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs his angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint Matthew."
"Forrest, Marjorie, daughter, Patron Saint Cecilia."
"Rutledge, Carrie, twins. Patron Saint Gerard. He's used to profanity."

Finally, He passes a name to an angel and smiles, "Give her a child with diabetes." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."

"Exactly", smiles God. "Could I give child with diabetes to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel".

"But has she the patience?" asks the angel.

"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she will drown in a sea of self-pity and despair. Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it. I watched her today. She has that feeling of self and independence that is so rare and so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I am going to give her has her own world. She has to make it live in her world and that's not going to be easy."

"But, Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."

God smiles. "No matter. I can fix that. This one is perfect. She has just enough selfishness."

The angel gasps. "Selfishness? Is that a virtue?"

God nods. "If she cannot separate herself from the child occasionally, she will never survive. Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with less than perfect."

"She does not realize it yet, but she is to be envied. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see .... ignorance, cruelty, prejudice ... and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side."

"And what about her patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice."





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Wednesday, May 5, 2010

If I Have to Explain...

When I was in college, my sorority had a Harley Davidson themed date party. We all got dressed up like bikers and went to this little biker bar on outskirts of town. It was fun. And funny. Here are a bunch of college kids from a very preppy, upper-middle class university pretending to be bikers. If I could find a picture.... You'd laugh so hard you'd wet your pants!


Anyway, we had t-shirts made for our date party (as we did for every date party and every other single thing we ever did). The shirts said "If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand".





I can't tell you how many times that thought has gone through my head during the past year. Not because I've been reminiscing about college date parties - because it's SO TRUE about diabetes.


If I have to explain.... you wouldn't understand.


I may have posted this before - I can't remember. It seems memory cells die off in large quantities with lack of sleep. It doesn't matter. It's worth reposting. I got it from Kelly and I don't know where she got it. It's great....


"No one could ever understand what a family goes through who has a child with diabetes. I mean it is ‘just diabetes,’ right? To those who know, no explanation is needed and to those who don’t, all the explanation in the world isn’t enough to truly explain.

Truth is, it isn’t ‘just ...diabetes.’ It’s a world that scares the hell out of all of us as parents. It’s a world where no parent should watch their child, or their children, suffer daily.

We don’t need to be told again and again that it could be worse; it could be this disease or that disease. We don’t need to be asked again for the millionth time, “Will they grow out of it?” We don’t need to hear from someone that it’s really not that bad to take a few shots. We don’t need to be called up to the school. We don’t need to worry if the falling down in soccer, or football, or lacrosse, or playing in the yard is part of their activity or if they are collapsing from a hypoglycemic reaction - and we hold our breath until they get up again. We don’t need that.

It’s these times. It’s the sleepless nights. It’s playing the diabetes police to our kids. It’s the feeling guilty on playing the diabetes police to our kids.

It’s the constant and burning wish that our lives be normal again.

OUR LIVES ARE NOT NORMAL.

But we don’t live like there’s a problem, do we? The feelings of fear, anxiety, guilt - and did I mention fear? - are kept inside though, aren’t they? They are kept inside because we want normal again, or as close to normal as can be, for our kids and for us too.

So we smile, we try not to overact when things go haywire, we smile when a relative we love says something stupid like “So you just cut back on their sugar, right?’ We cry alone, we cry in silence, but most of all we move on.

Most people just do not know what we go through because we do not live our lives in defeat. We try to stay upbeat.

But still, deep down inside we all have the fears and showing them outward is something we work real hard just not to do. But they are there, we all know they are."



I think we, as D Moms and Dads, do such a ROCK STAR job of handling this life we make it look..... EASY.


I think people look at us and think, "How bad can it be? It's just a few shots. Just a few site changes - whatever that means. You count a few carbs.... They LOOK fine. The child seems healthy and happy.... what's the big deal?"


What are our options here, really? Do we whine and moan and get all dramatic so people see that it's not so easy? Sometimes, I do. I admit it.


But most of the time, I think we just "suck it up". We put up that front that everything is fine. We don't want our kids to feel different. We don't want our kids to think of themselves as ABNORMAL or UNHEALTHY. We know that most people are not interested in the fact that we were up checking blood sugar 4 times during the night. People don't care that we're trying to figure out how the running around with friends activity is going play into the current blood sugar and insulin on board. We know people don't have any idea what we're talking about when we start using words like "bolus" or "IOB" or "basal rates" or "ketones" or other such language. We know that no matter how many times we've said that a) our kids will not grow out of this b) no, there is no pill c) yes, they can really eat sugar d) no, it's not really under control - that's kind of the idea behind a chronic illness or e) all of the above - we'll have to say it all again - probably sooner rather than later.


It's enough to make me climb on top of house and SCREAM!


But...


I don't do that, though I am tempted. It wouldn't really make anything better and would most likely end with either me falling off the roof or the police coming to make me get down. Neither would be much fun. And poor J would be left to deal with D all by himself, either way.


So, I believe that the only thing left to do... is educate.


It has become my mission to raise funds and AWARENESS for type 1 diabetes. Because if I can't cure this blasted disease, then at least I can educate. The more who know.... the more who don't need an explanation... the better Sweetpea's life will be. She's going to have spend her life fighting this disease. She shouldn't have to fight ignorance, too. That's my job!


So....


If I have to explain....



I WILL.



Maybe our new shirts could look like this....




Front: If I Have to Explain

Back : I WILL






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If I Have to Explain...

When I was in college, my sorority had a Harley Davidson themed date party. We all got dressed up like bikers and went to this little biker bar on outskirts of town. It was fun. And funny. Here are a bunch of college kids from a very preppy, upper-middle class university pretending to be bikers. If I could find a picture.... You'd laugh so hard you'd wet your pants!

Anyway, we had t-shirts made for our date party (as we did for every date party and every other single thing we ever did). The shirts said "If I have to explain, you wouldn't understand".




I can't tell you how many times that thought has gone through my head during the past year. Not because I've been reminiscing about college date parties - because it's SO TRUE about diabetes.


If I have to explain.... you wouldn't understand.


I may have posted this before - I can't remember. It seems memory cells die off in large quantities with lack of sleep. It doesn't matter. It's worth reposting. I got it from Kelly and I don't know where she got it. It's great....


"No one could ever understand what a family goes through who has a child with diabetes. I mean it is ‘just diabetes,’ right? To those who know, no explanation is needed and to those who don’t, all the explanation in the world isn’t enough to truly explain.

Truth is, it isn’t ‘just ...diabetes.’ It’s a world that scares the hell out of all of us as parents. It’s a world where no parent should watch their child, or their children, suffer daily.

We don’t need to be told again and again that it could be worse; it could be this disease or that disease. We don’t need to be asked again for the millionth time, “Will they grow out of it?” We don’t need to hear from someone that it’s really not that bad to take a few shots. We don’t need to be called up to the school. We don’t need to worry if the falling down in soccer, or football, or lacrosse, or playing in the yard is part of their activity or if they are collapsing from a hypoglycemic reaction - and we hold our breath until they get up again. We don’t need that.

It’s these times. It’s the sleepless nights. It’s playing the diabetes police to our kids. It’s the feeling guilty on playing the diabetes police to our kids.

It’s the constant and burning wish that our lives be normal again.

OUR LIVES ARE NOT NORMAL.

But we don’t live like there’s a problem, do we? The feelings of fear, anxiety, guilt - and did I mention fear? - are kept inside though, aren’t they? They are kept inside because we want normal again, or as close to normal as can be, for our kids and for us too.

So we smile, we try not to overact when things go haywire, we smile when a relative we love says something stupid like “So you just cut back on their sugar, right?’ We cry alone, we cry in silence, but most of all we move on.

Most people just do not know what we go through because we do not live our lives in defeat. We try to stay upbeat.

But still, deep down inside we all have the fears and showing them outward is something we work real hard just not to do. But they are there, we all know they are."


I think we, as D Moms and Dads, do such a ROCK STAR job of handling this life we make it look..... EASY.


I think people look at us and think, "How bad can it be? It's just a few shots. Just a few site changes - whatever that means. You count a few carbs.... They LOOK fine. The child seems healthy and happy.... what's the big deal?"


What are our options here, really? Do we whine and moan and get all dramatic so people see that it's not so easy? Sometimes, I do. I admit it.


But most of the time, I think we just "suck it up". We put up that front that everything is fine. We don't want our kids to feel different. We don't want our kids to think of themselves as ABNORMAL or UNHEALTHY. We know that most people are not interested in the fact that we were up checking blood sugar 4 times during the night. People don't care that we're trying to figure out how the running around with friends activity is going play into the current blood sugar and insulin on board. We know people don't have any idea what we're talking about when we start using words like "bolus" or "IOB" or "basal rates" or "ketones" or other such language. We know that no matter how many times we've said that a) our kids will not grow out of this b) no, there is no pill c) yes, they can really eat sugar d) no, it's not really under control - that's kind of the idea behind a chronic illness or e) all of the above - we'll have to say it all again - probably sooner rather than later.


It's enough to make me climb on top of house and SCREAM!


But...


I don't do that, though I am tempted. It wouldn't really make anything better and would most likely end with either me falling off the roof or the police coming to make me get down. Neither would be much fun. And poor J would be left to deal with D all by himself, either way.


So, I believe that the only thing left to do... is educate.


It has become my mission to raise funds and AWARENESS for type 1 diabetes. Because if I can't cure this blasted disease, then at least I can educate. The more who know.... the more who don't need an explanation... the better Sweetpea's life will be. She's going to have spend her life fighting this disease. She shouldn't have to fight ignorance, too. That's my job!


So....


If I have to explain....



I WILL.


Maybe our new shirts could look like this....


Front: If I Have to Explain

Back : I WILL



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Life for a Child

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