You Picked a Fine Time to Leave Us, Dexcom...

Monday, January 31, 2011

Friday night.

Ready for bed.  I dragged my exhausted bod up the stairs.

The only thing standing in the way of me and my bed was a quick Dexie insertion.

J goes in first to check the receiver and stop the sensor.

And this is what he saw.



"Uh- oh" he says. 

"This can't be good."  I thought.

He went down to check the manual and call customer service while I took off her numbing cream.

A few minutes later, I hear....

"Do you want the bad news or the worse news?"

"This REALLY can't be good."

"Dex is shot.  Hardware error.  We can get a new one as long as it's under warranty but it they can't send it until they check the system on Monday.  So it won't get here until Tuesday night."

TUESDAY???

As in the day that is FOUR DAYS AWAY?!?

Not cool, Dex.  Not cool.

Sweetpea told me that she was kind of glad he was gone. 

"Really?"  I asked.  "Why?"

"Because it's easier for you to scratch my back!" she said.  "But I'll be happy when the new Dexie comes.  I'll be glad to see him and I'll love him just the same."

Me, too! 

It's shocking how fast you can learn to rely on a piece of technology and how it changes the way you treat.  We're more aggressive with Dex because we feel like we've got another pair of eyes on the job. 

So.... we are old schoolin' it.  We're back to having to NO CLUE what's going on inside that little body.  NO CLUE what her bg is doing at any given moment. 

I've been afraid to correct over night.  Any correction makes her crash... even with a 500 ISF. 

But last night... she was 360 at 11:30.  I HAD to correct that.  And I did. 

And she did crash.  Which meant Mommy got practically NO SLEEP last night.

And as I laid there awake, waiting to test, trying to figure out when I should set my alarm to test again...

THIS was going thru my head...

"You picked a fine time to leave me, Lucille." 

Ahhh.... Kenny Rogers!

But - being ME - I had to change the words. 

THIS is what I was singing...

"You picked a fine time to leave us, Dexcom.  High, wonky bg's and a carb ratio's that's wrong.  We've seen some low times.  Some "you're drinking too slow" times.  I just can't believe that you're gone.  You picked a fine time to leave us, Dexcom."

Yeah, I have issues.  I know.

Music just speaks to me.  It's how I express myself.  It helps me work through my feelings and emotions.  It adds so much to my life!  Just call me Delilah!

I enjoy picking the perfect song for a situation or to go with my posts. 

In fact, I've got a whole Kenny montage going on on the playlist today!  Thanks to my parents, I love Kenny.  I went to his concerts when I was little.  My Dad and I danced to "Through the Years" at my wedding.  I included "The Gambler" because isn't that what we all do with diabetes???  And a few of my other favs for your listening enjoyment!

HOWEVER....

This has been an issue of contention for J.  He is not a fan of my playlist.  Specifically, he's not a fan of it starting automatically. 

I get that.  As much as I like picking the "perfect song" ....  I don't like listening while I read! 
I often pause it while I'm reading!

So, when Wendy asked her readers if we thought she should bring back her playlist.... J, who reads all our blogs, thought this was the BEST IDEA EVER!  He said I should ask and see what y'all think.  (He's hoping you'll side with him!  I don't really care either way!)

So... with thanks to Wendy and Amy for introducing me to this nifty little tool....

Let me know what you think!!!

I'll always keep the playlist and I'll always put special songs on it to go with each post... 

The question is... 

Would you prefer it to play automatically or would you prefer to push play on your own?




You have a few days to vote....!  And you're right, Amy!  This IS fun!


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There's No Crying in Football

Sunday, January 30, 2011

I've been at a loss this football season.

I've got my favorite college team... but I haven't been able to find a pro team to root for.

Our "hometown" team is the Bengals.  Otherwise known as the worst team in football.  I'd LIKE to root for them... but I just can't.  They are terrible.  And frankly, I've got enough to deal with that I just can't add supporting a team like that to the list.

I USED to be a Steeler fan.  I became a Steeler fan when Big Ben was drafted and went to play there.  We are Miami people.  J and I both graduated from Miami along with MANY other relatives.  My cousin played football at Miami with Ben.  I was there for his first collegiate game.  And I was a fan... until all that trash came out about him and how he treats women.  I gave him the benefit of the doubt the first time.  But the second... and the third... and... well, sorry.  I'm done.  How can wear my #7 jersey?  What example would that set for my daughter?  Just can't do it...

There's always the Colts.  I DO like Peyton Manning.  But... eh.  I used to like the Bucs since I LOVE Tampa Bay.  But I haven't been sold on any of them.

What about the Bears? They have quarterback that has Type 1?!?  SOLD!

J said I should re-think that decision because "A lot of people think Cutler is a jerk".

Ugh.  So I can't like the Bears, either?

But I kept going back to the Bears.  J kept finding articles for me to read about how .... unfriendly Cutler is.

Finally it was playoff time.  And look who was there... The Bears!

I'd read about Cutler's "demeanor".  But I'd also watched him on D-Life talking to kids with Type 1.  I'd read about him doing good in the community.  I figured, "He can't be ALL bad."  So I became a fan.

They way I look at it... The guy has Type 1.  And he's an NFL quarterback!  Even if he isn't the nicest guy in the world, I'm impressed by him.  And his ability to compete at such a high level with this disease I know all too well.

And then.... He got hurt.  BUMMER.

The next day, J told me that people were calling him a wimp, etc.

"You've got be kidding me?!?"  I said.

"The man may be many things.... but he is NOT a wimp.  NO ONE with Type 1 is a wimp."

And then came along John Madden.....

I know there's no crying in football.... but when I listened to the audio of John Madden on Madden Football defending Cutler....  There were a few tears.

Listen for yourself...



He GOT IT.  Madden GOT IT.  And he got it RIGHT.  He understands Type 1.  He's got the facts straight.

Listening to him made me feel.... vindicated.  Because although he was talking about a 27 year old NFL quarterback, he was also talking about my  4 year old daughter. 

He spoke with such PASSION.... that I KNEW he HAD to be speaking from experience.  A quick google search later and I learned that Madden's Grandson, Sam, has Type 1.

Ah, yes... He DOES know.  He knows first hand.

So, Thank you Jay Cutler.  Thank you for not quitting when Type 1 entered your life.  Thank you for battling Type 1 every day while still competing at the highest level of football.  Thank you for showing our kids that Type 1 doesn't have to stop you from ANYTHING.

And...  Thank you John Madden.  Thank you for speaking out.  Thank you for educating a entire population that may never have heard anything about Type 1 before.  Thank you for reaching people that I can't reach.  Thank you for advocating for our kids... and adults with Type 1.  Thank you for getting it.

GO BEARS!



** To read another post about this subject... go visit Nicole at The We Cara Lot Blog! She, too, was a big fan of this interview! **


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The Truth

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Again.

It's happened again.

But this time diabetes hasn't just claimed ONE life.  It's claimed FIVE.

Yes, FIVE.

Today was a crazy day.  Work.  Very grumpy four year old.  Left my phone at work and had to go back and get it.  Highway closed down.  Errands to run.  Didn't get home until 8 pm.  

I log on to Facebook and I see the blue candles.  


I know instantly what that means.

It means loss.  Heartbreak.  Sadness.  Anxiety.  Fear.

Tonight I read that a 24 year old Australian woman has passed away from DKA.  And a 27 year old mother of two.  And a 16 year old boy.  And a 9 year old girl who succumbed to depression and took her own life.  And an 18 month old who was misdiagnosed.

It's overwhelming.

And I realize how quickly we fall into that false sense of security.

It's not that we don't worry about it.  Oh, we do.  

It's just that seeing those blue candles...  it reminds us that our fears are not unfounded.



And it forces us to face the TRUTH about this disease.

Because the truth is... People die from diabetes every day.  People of all ages.

The truth is... Just because my child grows up, turns 18, gets married, has a family of her own - does not mean that I won't still worry about her and her health.

The truth is...  I can no longer take for granted that my child will live a long and healthy life.

The truth is... Diabetes did change our lives forever.  Not just for a short time and then it will go back to normal. There is no going back to "before".

The truth is... It doesn't matter if your child is 4, 14, 24, or 54 - losing a child is the most horrific thing I can imagine.

The truth is...   No matter how hard we try and how carefully we attempt to manage this disease, we can't control it.  

The truth is... Bad things happen.

The truth is...  Many of us suffer from depression.

The truth is... I can't ever take a break or let my guard down.  Not ever.

The truth is...  Pumps and cgms and other "fancy" equipment help... but they're not perfect.

The truth is... Seeing those candles brings us face to face with our biggest fear.

The truth is... I won't sleep much tonight.

The truth is...  We can't let any of these things hold us back.

Tonight... I am so overwhelmed with sadness and grief for people I've never met.  Because I know it could be me.  

Tonight I will feel sick.  Tonight I will cry.  Tonight I will light my candle.  

And tomorrow.... Tomorrow I have to find a way through this.  A way through the sadness, the pain, the anxiety, the fear.

Because I owe it to my daughter, to those who are still fighting, and to those who have lost their battle - to never give up.

Because the truth is...  We need a CURE.  And we need it NOW.




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Lows are like Snowflakes

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Each one is different.  Just like a snowflake.

Nothing with diabetes is ever predictable.  Ever the same.

I should know that by now.  Wouldn't you think?

But this morning.... not so much.

This morning I forgot.  This morning I let myself be lulled into a false sense of safety.

We've been battling lows.  Low after low after low.  We've pulled back basals.  We've changed carb ratios.  We've even called the hospital for extra help. 

And yet they persist.

Over the weekend, Sweetpea had a 39.

Yes, a 39.

And you wouldn't have known. 

She was talking and playing like nothing was wrong.  This isn't the first time.  She's been in the 30's before... answering questions, talking, recalling information, walking, running....

Over the weekend, however, the low hit hard.  Although inconspicuous at first, it reared it's ugly head and left her crying on the couch that her belly hurt. 

She's just starting to be aware.  She just now moving from "I feel hungry" (which was our only symptom and sign for so long) to "My tummy hurts.  I feel low."

This is a good thing.  At least, it's as much of a good thing as a low can be.

Yesterday was not a good day.  Her blood sugar was 76 after preschool.  She had 3 free carbs.  THREE. 

Two hours later she was 435. 

A correction was given.  And 90 minutes later she was 95. 

Her attitude was terrible.  She was angry, grumpy and mean.  She was tired. 

She hovered at 80-90 for awhile.  She was at a good number at bed - 145.  She stayed steady there for most of the night.

Until she started dropping. 

By 7:30, she was awake.  And she was low.

71

Not a terribly low number.  She felt it, though.  Said her tummy hurt.

We looked for juice.  None to be found in her room OR in the hall linen closet where we keep our stash.

I was in the process of getting dressed for work when this all started going down.  I had a meeting and I HAD to be there on time.

She said she'd go downstairs and get the juice.  On her own. 

"Fine" I said.  Thinking that would buy me a couple of minutes to continue throwing on my clothes in haphazard fashion.  No worries.  It wasn't that low....

The next thing I hear is crying. 

She is laying on the steps, at the bottom. 

She fell. 

She fell down the steps. 

At 71.

The rest of the morning continued in at a frantic pace. 

Pick her up.  Make sure she's ok. Get the juice.  Drink the juice.  Wait.....  Test again... She's coming up.

Get dressed.  Get HER dressed.  She's crying.  She's hungry.  She wants to go to McDonalds.  We NEVER go to McDonalds for breakfast. 

"We can't today, Sweetie.  We're already late and I HAVE to get to this meeting."

"THIS IS WHY I HATE SCHOOL!"  she shouts.  "I'm TIRED.  I don't want to go.  I just want to stay here."

"I'm sorry, hon.  I know you're tired.  I'm tired, too. But we have to go to school.  Please get dressed."

Pants go flying across the room.  Her door slams.  Yes, she's only 4. 

I start looking for my shoes and putting on my earrings. 

She appears in the doorway with her shirt over her head. She's stuck.  Needs help.  She's crying.

We fix it.  I get myself thrown together.  I try to do her hair.  She's still crying.  "I wish I was a Mom before you."  she says.  "Then I wouldn't have to do my hair.  You hurt me.  You always hurt me."

I explain that an easy solution is to cut off all of her hair.  She does not like this idea.

She can't find her coat.  She won't put it on.  She's still crying.

We finally get in the car.  We're late.  We're not going to make it on time. 

I look in the rear view mirror and see her staring out the window.  Blankly.

I wonder what she's thinking.  I wonder what's going through her head. 

I know what's going through mine.  I hate diabetes. I'm sorry, but I do.  I hate what it does to my child.  I hate seeing her like that.  I hate it.  I hate that I can't make it better.  I hate that my best isn't always good enough.  I hate that I can't protect her from this beast. 

We get to school.  We're late.  10 minutes.  We run upstairs and the join the meeting already in progress.  I test again.  145.  Good number.  The juice didn't send her sky high. 

She crawls into my lap and puts her head on my shoulder.  I finally relax. 

"I love you, Mommy."  she whispers into my ear. 

"I know baby.  I love you, too."


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Bittersweet Symphony

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

POOF...

It is dark.  I am tired.

POOF...

The room is bathed in the soft golden glow of the nightlight.  I can make out the shapes of butterflies and stuffed animals that lay around the room and cover the walls.  Minnie Mouse is sitting above my head, perched on a pillow.  I am not the only one keeping watch tonight.

POOF...

I can see clearly my sweet angel, laying next to me.  Her tiny, pink lips parted every so slightly.  A golden curl falling over her still chubby cheek.  Her long eyelashes - fluttering ever so often.  The rhythmic rising of her chest. 

POOF...

She is so peaceful.  She is dreaming.  She is the picture of innocence.  Of childhood.  Of perfect health.

POOF...

You'd never know by looking at her.  You'd never guess that her health is volatile.  That a disease is waging war in her body.  That is has taken a piece of her childhood.  A piece of her innocence.  Even though she herself does not realize it.

POOF...

You'd never know if you didn't look closely.  In the dark, I can't see the hundreds of tiny holes in her fingertips.  I can't make out the cgm site that is attached to her tush.  Or the pump that is attached to her back and arm. 

POOF...

I am calmed by that rhythmic sound.  It fills me with a sense of comfort.  A sense of peace. 

POOF...

That POOF is sound of the tiniest drop of insulin being delivered through her pump.  Her basal rate.  It's a drop so small it would be almost invisible to the naked eye.

POOF...

I am so grateful for the POOF.  I am so thankful for the technology.  The ability to manage her diabetes with such precision.

POOF...

And yet...  I know that what I am hearing is essentially the sounds of life support.  That little POOF...  that tiny drop... is keeping my child alive.  And something about that, while being incredible, is also heartbreaking.

POOF...

I've learned to work swiftly and efficiently in the dark.  My movements so practiced that it's almost instinct.  I estimate that I've done this close to 7,000 times.

POOF...

Even in her sleep, she hears the soft BEEP.  It's instinct for her, too.  A small finger is extended before I can even reach for it.  A drop of blood is expressed...

POOF...

120.  *exhale* She's come up.  That POOF may have been working too well.  Yes, it saves her life.  But it can also take it.

POOF...

A little juice.  A straw placed on those tiny lips.  Another instinct.  "Drink, baby.  Drink."  And she does.  Without ever opening an eye. 

POOF...

I can now sleep.  But I don't.  Instead I choose to stay a while longer and listen to the bittersweet symphony.

POOF...







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100 Miles

Sunday, January 23, 2011

I'm going to walk 100 miles.  



No joke.

I am!

And I'm doing it to help find a cure for diabetes.

Our JDRF chapter is doing "The Century Challenge".  It's easy.  All you have to do is walk a mile a few times a week.  Each time you walk a mile, put $1 in your JDRF Jar.  By the time the walk rolls around (assuming you have a fall walk - you might be hurtin' if you're trying to do this by spring!), you will have raised $100!

 
 (Yes!  That is Dodge, our flamingo from The Diabetes Dude, in our JDRF Jar!  And Yes... it is the centerpiece on our table.  But LOOK!  I've been walking!!)

It doesn't get much easier than that, does it?

ANYONE can do this.

You can walk.  Your kids can walk.  You can ride a bike.  Your kids can ride their bikes.  You could swim.  Whatever.  

1 mile = 1 dollar

And at the end, not only will you have 100 bucks to donate towards finding a CURE for diabetes.... you'll be healthier.




Win - Win

So....

Who's with me?

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The Envelope Please....

Friday, January 21, 2011

Today's the day that I announce the WINNER of My Too Sweet Giveaway!

The winner will get a customized Pajama Pump Pouch from Too Sweet Boutique!


But before I announce the winner...  (and while I've got you here!)

Don't Forget to send me a picture of your CWD or yourself if YOU are a T1!  Include first names and diagnosis dates.  Email them to me at theprincessandthepump@gmail.com  I'm making a little "Valentine Surprise" for the DOC!  I'm so excited!!

AND....  The Princess and The Pump is now on facebook!  Check us out and "Like" us!  That way you'll be sure to stay updated on the latest blog entries and give aways!

Speaking of which... You'll want to make sure to come back HERE on February 4th!  I've got a wonderful give away lined up that will be PERFECT for Valentine's Day... or any day of the year!


But first... Head on over to see Ronda at Autoimmune Island!  This is Ronda's FIRST Sugar Bolus!  So go see what awesome things she is giving away and show her some DOC love!




Ok - Drumroll please......

We had 96 entries in the giveaway!  WOW!  One comment was not an entry and so it was eliminated.  

I entered this info into Random.org and this is what I got:


Do you want to know WHO lucky # 29 is????

I put all the comments into a Word Doc and numbered them.  This is what I got:



MISTY from Life is Like a Box of Chocolates is our WINNER!

Misty, I'm glad you really wanted to win because you DID!  Please get in touch with me to claim your prize!

Thanks to everyone for playing... and especially to Amy at Too Sweet Boutique for offering up one of her amazing creations!  I hope that even if you didn't win you will consider heading over to her shop and buying a pouch anyway!  The quality and cuteness is FANTASTIC



Now... go see Ronda at AutoImmune Island for your next dose of SUGAR!

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This is LOVE Calling

Monday, January 17, 2011

First - I  need your help!  

I have a little Valentine Surprise planned for the DOC!  

All I need from you is a picture of your CWD or yourself if you're a Type 1.  Include first names and diagnosis dates.  And email them to me at:
theprincessandthepump@gmail.com

** And don't forget to enter my give away to win a super sweet pj pump pouch from Too Sweet Boutique!  Click HERE to enter!**

Second - We had a really nice day off of work/school that we spent running errands and watching movies!  We hopped in the car this morning and guess what the first song we heard was?

Get Back Up by Toby Mac


It's playing right now on my playlist.


Listen to the lyrics...


You turned away when I looked you in the eye,
And hesitated when I asked if you were alright,
Seems like you're fighting for you life,
But why? oh why?
Wide awake in the middle of your nightmare,
You saw it comin' but it hit you outta no where,
And there's always scars
When you fall that far

We lose our way,
We get back up again
It's never too late to get back up again,
One day you will shine again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever,
Lose our way,
We get back up again,
So get up, get up,
You're gonna shine again,
Never too late to get back up again,
You may be knocked down,
But not out forever

After my post, Concealer, yesterday?  How appropriate!

And thank you for all the sweet, kind comments...  I truly appreciate it.  The fact that you take the time to leave me a note AND that you can relate!

So - since I seem to be the Delilah of the DOC, I thought I would dedicate this song to all you.

To all of you who are in three day old sweats...

To all of you who haven't showered...

To all of you with dark circles...


To all of you who can't fit into your pre-dx clothes...


To all of you who don't recognize yourself in the mirror...


To all of you who put everything and everyone else in front of yourself...


This is for you.


Maybe we have scars...  Maybe we've lost our way...
Maybe we feel like we ARE wide awake in the middle of our nightmare...


It's never too late.


We WILL shine again.


We've just got to get up!


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Concealer

Sunday, January 16, 2011

It was brought to my attention the other day - by THREE people - that I was looking a bit.... tired.  In other words, I looked like death warmed over. 

"Are you ok?  You've got dark circles under your eyes."

Oh, you mean the dark circles that are taking my love of wearing black to a whole new level?  The black circles that were *throbbing* with pain?  



"Maybe if you had on makeup.... That would help."

"Ummm..... I HAVE on makeup."

"Oh.  Well...."  That was my mom.  She tells it like it is.  So if she's telling me that I look like something the cat drug in.... then that's what I look like.  

I guess I'm going to have to invest in a really good, really effective concealer!

Although, my dear friend Lora from My Diabetic Child tells me to try Preparation H on those pesky circles.  Although she stresses the importance of buying a NEW tube before applying it to your face. Good tip, Lora!


It got me thinking...  

Makeup is not the only way we conceal what our lives are really like.


How about laughter?  Jokes?  That's a great way to conceal what's really going on.  It's a great way to hide our fears and our worries so that others don't see.  So others don't know how scared we are when our kids get sick.  So they don't know how frustrated we are when blood sugar just won't cooperate.  So they don't think of us - or our kids - as different.  It can be a healthy way to deal, too.  A laugh can be a way to hide - or medicine for the soul.



How about that word.  That four letter word...  You know the one.  FINE.  


"How's she doing?"  FINE.  Because how can you explain what it's really like?  That sometimes she IS fine.  And sometimes she's not.  And sometimes the difference between fine and not fine can be 15 minutes.  How can you explain the complexity of diabetes?  Sometimes it's too much.  And FINE is a great way to conceal the truth.

How about those relaxed fit jeans?  The flowy shirts?  The baggy clothes?  That's a great way to conceal.... what lies beneath.  Over the past 2 years, I've come to learn that there's a fine line between dressing to FLATTER your figure and dressing to HIDE your figure.  Unfortunately, I'm falling into the latter category these days.


You know... I sat down to write a quick little funny post about my dark circles.  

But as I write this...  I realize that this is another way for me to conceal what's really going on.  I've written about this before.  A while back I wrote a post called Lost.  But the truth is, these posts have just scraped the top layer.  They've been a way for me to share... but not totally share... what's going on with ME.  



So... Guess what?  


I'm going to tell it like it is.  No more sugar coating it.  We've got enough sugar in our lives... we don't need any more.  So here goes...

I used to exercise every day.  I loved it.  I felt great!  Then I got married and exercised about 5 times a week.  Then Sweetpea was born and it went down to 3 ish times a week.  Then came diabetes.  


It's been almost 2 years.  I pretty much have not exercised in 2 years.  

I've gained 15 pounds.  And I was between 5-10 pounds from where I wanted to be then.  


When she goes to bed... I eat.  I snack.  I'm not hungry.  I'm eating for something else.  To make myself feel better?  To dull the ache that is there so often?  To make the pain of having to hurt my child go away?

I'm tired.  I haven't had a good night's sleep in soooooo long.  I'm stressed.  I'm trying to juggle a full time job, being a mom, being a wife, and being a pancreas.  And I can't do it.  It's exhausting.  


And when I'm tired... I have no motivation to exercise.  I make terrible eating choices.  And the cycle continues.


I used to wash my hair every day.  Now I wash my hair.... every 4 or so days?  Yup.  It's true.  I'm lucky that my hair is SUPER THICK so I can get away with it without my hair looking like an oil spill.  My hair doesn't get oily.  Thank God for small favors.  It's just that it takes SO LONG to wash and dry it....  

And showering?  Yeah... I don't shower every day.  If I happen to get hot and sweaty... but otherwise...  I'm too tired to do it when I wake up in the morning.  And I'm too tired to do it before I go to bed.  Someone I know in the DOC has been known to "Febreeze" herself.  She shall remain nameless.  But it sounds like a good idea to me!


My skin would not be described as "glowing".  Not unless you'd describe an old gym shoe as glowing.  No... I look more old, worn, and leathery.  


Makeup?  I wear it.  But it is haphazard.  Thrown on.  In an effort to cover up the paleness.  The dark circles.  The tired eyes.  


I look in the mirror when I get ready in the morning and then I avoid them the rest of the day.






I hate getting dressed.  I used to *LOVE* it!  I looked so cute.  Now I hate my clothes.  I hate the way they look.


I hate the way *I* look.  


SO...  What's a D Mama to do?


I don't know.  


All I know is that I have to make ME a priority, too.  And I know I have to do it for myself.  But honestly... that's not enough motivation for me.  I'm not just doing it for me.  I'm doing it because it's going to make me a better pancreas, a better mom, and a better wife. (And isn't it sad that my first thought was to be a better pancreas?!?)


I'm going to have to count what I eat - even though the thought of counting MORE FOOD makes me want to scream!  


I'm going to have give up my beloved Coca-Cola.  We're going to have to break up.  We can still be friends... but no more lunch time rendezvous.  I'm sorry.  It's not you... It's me.  Well - actually it IS you.  You and your calorie loaded goodness.


The kitchen is going to have to close a 8pm.  And J is going to have go all Jillian Michaels on my ass to keep me in line.


Exercise.  Gotta do it.  I know I'll like it once I get back into it.  


You know... Maybe I avoid those mirrors because the person I see is not one that I recognize.  I don't who that person is staring back at me.  

Why would I share all this with you?  


I don't like it.  I'm certainly not proud of it.  No... I'm embarrassed.  I'm ashamed.  This is not me.  This is not who I am.



Telling you that I've gained 15 pounds, I don't shower regularly, and I look like Hell is pretty personal.  Normally I'd gloss over it because I wouldn't want anyone to get the wrong idea... or think less of me.


But here it is.  Here I am.  


And I have a feeling that I'm not alone.  


I'm not the only one who has put her child's health in front her own.


I'm not the only person who eats to dull the ache that diabetes brought into our lives.


I'm not the only one with dark circles.


I'm not the only one with unwashed hair.


I have a feeling I'm in good company.


And I really can't blame diabetes for doing this to me.  No... *I* did this to me.  


I have been so consumed with diabetes since April 27, 2009 that I have let everything else go.  


And while I am still consumed with diabetes...  While I still don't get a good night's sleep...  While I still feel sad, mad, scared, beat down...


This has got to stop.


The concealer's not working anymore, folks.  

Here's to doing whatever it takes to not need it anymore.




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My Too Sweet Giveaway

Friday, January 14, 2011

I don't know about where you live...  but it's FREEZING here!

It feels like it's been snowing for a week!  And that wind... BITTER!

What could be more perfect at the end of the day than curling up by the fire in a toasty warm pair of pajamas?

HERE'S what's better...

Curling up by the fire in a toasty warm pair of pajamas with a BRAND NEW PAJAMA PUMP POUCH!



Amy, at Too Sweet Boutique, is offering one lucky reader their very own, customized pajama pump pouch!



This is her brand new creation!  And what a great idea.... because just like she says....
"No little sweetie wants to sleep on a hard, cold insulin pump!"

 Here's the scoop from the Too Sweet website:

*detailS   
The Pajama Pouch is will accommodate Minimed 500 series and Animas pumps.
It is custom made from the highest quality SOFT, flannel fabric and PADDED for extra comfort.
It features a SOFT flannel covered, elastic waist band that is sewn into the pouch, so your pump stays right where you want it.
Your child’s measurements are used to ensure a great fit!
You can order it with or without a CLEAR screen.

*comfort 
 No more uncomfortable nylon or elastic belts! No pulled sites from pumps roaming under the covers.
You can Upgrade to a plush minky belt for extra comfort if you like.
You can add an extra layer of PADDING for a pillow like pouch, (not available with a clear screen.)

*style 
Designer flannels make Pajama pouches fun and fashionable!  
You can ADD Ric Rac or Piping Trim to any Jammie Pouch with a CLEAR sreen.
Ric Rac is available in hot pink, pink, aqua, orange and green.
Piping is available in Brown, Olive, Black and Red

*quality   
Too Sweet products are handmade from the highest quality quilting fabrics and notions.  
Are fully lined and feature finished seams and careful top-stitching.
I use zippers to close all of my pouches because they are secure and QUIET, day and night.


As you may know, I've worked with Too Sweet Boutique before.  We gave away an awesome pump pouch last year.  But more than that...  I'm a faithful customer!

Sweetpea and I *LOVE* Too Sweet's pouches!  They are CUTE and COMFORTABLE!  Two things that don't necessarily go together when talking about insulin pump pouches.

Sweetpea likes the cute fabrics and designs.  She *LOVES* her Hello Kitty pouch and her "Diva" pouch.  She also prefers the minky belt... it's soooo much softer on her delicate little skin!  She never complains of it itching and I never see any places where it's been rubbing.

I like the fact that the pouches are well made.  No falling apart after a few wears.  I like that they are discreet.  There's no buldge that lets people know she's wearing something around her waist.  But honestly... these pouches are SO CUTE you WANT them to be seen!

Are you totally in LOVE yet?

I'm sure you are and you're dying to know how you can get your hands on one of these pouches!

Here's what you  need to do...

1. Leave me a comment before midnight Thursday, January 20th 2011.  Include your first name, a comment left with out a name will be eliminated.

2. To earn extra entries for the giveaway post a separate comment for each:
  • Tweet about this giveaway, then leave a comment with a link
  • Facebook about this giveaway, then leave a comment with a link
  • Blog about this giveaway, then leave a comment with a link

* No duplicate comments are allowed and will be eliminated.

* Winners will be selected via random draw at http://www.random.org/.  

* Winners' names will be posted here on The Princess and The Pump on Friday January 21st 2011

* After a winner is named and posted, the winner will have 48 hours to send a message to me at theprincessandthepump@gmail.com subject Sugar Bolus Winner.  If I do not hear from the winner within 48 hours, I will select a new winner.  


GOOD LUCK!
 

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Miss Ambassador

Monday, January 10, 2011

I am so very proud to announce that Sweetpea was chosen as the 2011 Ohio Ambassador for The Diabetes Dude!



We are both so very excited to be working with The Diabetes Dude this year!  It is our goal to continue to advocate and educate the world about Type 1 Diabetes. 

You check out her ambassador page HERE.

She's even getting her own business cards!  When I told her this, she said, "Ones to play with?"  "No" I said.  "Real ones to give to people in case they want someone to talk to about diabetes."  "Well..... in that case, I'm going to need a REAL wallet to put them in!"

She is taking her duties extremely seriously!

Sweetpea is not the only CWD you might know that is an ambassador!  Other members of the Ambassador Flock include:
Super Nate from Houston We Have a Problem
Kacey from Diabetes Sweeties
Cara from The We Cara Lot Blog
Justice from Justice's Misbehaving Pancreas
Sugar from Candy Hearts

And so many more... all listed under the "Friends of DD" tab on The DIabetes Dude site.

In case you don't know him...

Noah Brokmeier is The Diabetes Dude!  Noah was diagnosed in 2007 at the age of 6.  He created the blue flamingo as a symbol for diabetes awareness. 

"The "Flamingo Flock" is a campaign to raise awareness for diabetes.  This campaign originally started to help raise funds on Noah's behalf for the American Diabetes Association, but we have become so overwhelmed with the responses that we have received that Noah has decided to turn it into a full fledged campaign to raise awareness and would love to see this go national!  Noah uses blue flamingos instead of traditional pink flamingos to not only get people talking about these crazy colored birds but also because this is the color used for diabetes awareness."

As you may remember, we were flocked back in the fall by Super Nate from Houston We Have A Problem!  Our flamingo, Dodge, has been hanging out with us ever since.  
He went to our walk with us.


(Why, Yes!  That is Ally from Life is Like a Box of Choclates!  And yes, it was pretty sunny that day!)




He even became part of our Christmas decorations!


We have plans for Dodge...  He's not staying with us forever!  He will be moving on to visit another child with diabetes very soon!

Sweetpea was so distraught at the thought of sending Dodge on that she will be getting another flamingo soon to KEEP!  When she realize the whole idea was to pass it on and "pay if forward" she was upset.  "I just haven't had enough time with him yet" she sobbed.  So... because Noah and his family are so amazing, they agreed to send us another!

If YOU would like to get flocked and get a flamingo of your own to love and send on... you can contact Noah:
By e-mail:   email@thediabetesdude.com
By phone:  774-406-8598




If you think The DIabetes Dude is pretty awesome, you can SHOW him your love by voting for him!  Noah was honored as one of D Life's 10 People Who Are Making a Difference in Diabetes.  They have featured "10 brave, innovative, gutsy individuals who have worked hard to improve the lives of people with diabetes".  To vote for Noah to receive the top award, Click HERE!


We plan to work closely with Noah this year to raise awareness for diabetes.  We are committed to advocate and educate... until the whole world hears!


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Top Tresses

Saturday, January 8, 2011

On behalf of Sweetpea, I'd like to thank everyone for this wonderful award!  It is so incredibly cool... and very sweet.... that you would think of us at all!  And even more so that you would actually vote for us!  

So, from the tips of our never split ends... we THANK YOU for honoring us!

To find out the other winners, click HERE.  I'm sure you will see other bloggers that you know and love!  The company here is fantastic!





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Dear GMA: I Want You To Know...

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Dear GMA,

There's a few things I Want You to Know...

I've heard about your segment with Ricki Lake all day.  What I like to call... "The Lake Mistake".  About how, once again, the public was informed that Juvenile (Type 1) Diabetes is a preventable disease. 

Being at work, I didn't see it live. However, I just watched it. And even though I KNEW...  I KNEW what was going to be said. It still made me want to cry.  It still made me want to scream.... 

 TYPE 1 DIABETES IS NOT PREVENTABLE. It is NOT caused by diet or lack of exercise. Type 1 is an AUTO IMMUNE DISEASE! 
 Why does this hurt so much? Why can't I just chalk it up to a mistake and let it go at that?



Because my daughter was diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes just weeks after turning 3 years old. She weighed 25 pounds.  She was skin and bones. She was deathly ill.  She had never tasted soda.  She had never had a sucker until she was 2.  We have no history of diabetes in either of our families. It came out of the blue and changed our lives forever. 



We now deal with this deadly disease every single day. We test her blood sugar around 10 times a day. We get up at least once (although it's often more) a night to check her blood and make sure she is still alive.  We count every carbohydrate that goes into her mouth. We insert needles into her body every day.  



She wears an insulin pump 24 hours a day - 7 days a week. Just to stay ALIVE.

If you have ever had to hold your child down, while she kicks and screams and BEGS you not to hurt her, to give her a shot of the medicine that keeps her alive... and done that five or more times a day...  You know it's hard to just let that hurt go. 



How do we find a cure when celebrities keep going on television and getting it wrong? Who wants to donate money to help us find that cure if the disease was something we could have prevented? NO ONE. 

I want a cure. I want to be able to go to bed at night without worrying that diabetes is going to steal my child's life away while I sleep. I want to go a few hours without seeing her blood. I want to never pierce her skin with a needle again. I want her to have a long, healthy, complication free life. I want a cure. We NEED a cure!



Every mistake sets us back. 

And we don't have time for this.

Right now, there is a disease raging thru my child's body. Causing damage. No matter how good our care is. Because no matter what we do, we will NEVER be as good as a "real" pancreas.

Hearing this is a smack in the face. 

We struggle every day to keep our kids alive. Every single one. 

We worry. We don't sleep at night. We spend THOUSANDS of dollars on medical supplies and equipment. We watch everything they eat. We take them to the endocrinologist every three months.  We hold our children while they cry in pain. We hide our own tears.

 
 One week of supplies...

I commend Ricki Lake for apologizing.  Not only did she release a statement but she also apologized on The Joy Behar Show.  I think she's sincere.  I think it was an honest mistake.
I appreciate your correction. I appreciate you taking this seriously.

But while an apology is nice.....  

It still stings.

That's why I'm looking forward to your show tomorrow when I hear a LIVE ON AIR correction will be made!

There are so many of us living with diabetes who would LOVE the opportunity to share with you and your audience about this disease.  My daughter is one.  Noah, The Diabetes Dude is another.  I'm sure they, along with all the other Diabetes Dude Ambassadors, would happily flock your studios to tell you all about life with Type 1.  And how they might have diabetes, but they don't let diabetes have them. 

Living with diabetes is hard. 

Knowing that people understand... Knowing that people "get it".... Knowing that people care....  

It makes living the D Life a little easier.

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