Sunday, September 1, 2013

The Unexpected Gift: Thoughts on loss and friendship

So maybe I'm feeling a little emotional this weekend.  Maybe I should tell you that upfront.

A year ago this weekend, the world tipped on it's axis for a while.

A year ago this weekend, my husband had a heart attack.  My thin, active, nonsmoking, 40 year old husband.

I'm used to dealing with hospitals for Sweets.  This was different.

And while I was sitting next to his bed in ICU, I learned that my dear friend Meri's husband had passed away after a grueling battle with cancer.

We are not that old.  We have young children.  We have children with diabetes.  This kind of stuff is supposed to happen to old people.  Other people.  Not us.

But if diabetes has taught me anything, it's that none of us are immune to anything.  So really, I shouldn't have felt as rocked to the core as I did.

Now it's a year later.  My husband is healthy and doing well.  My sweet friend is learning to live a different life than what she had planned and missing her husband every step of the way.

My heart hurts.

It never really gets easier.

But this post isn't about grief or disease.

It's about friends.

If you had told me four plus years ago when Sweets was diagnosed that I would make some of my very best friends because of diabetes I would have thought you were insane.  And my response probably would have been, "Who Cares?  How is that going to help me raise a very young child with T1D?"

I had no idea.

Since that day, I've found an incredible group of women who have become some of my very best and closest friends.

Some of them I have never met in person.

Some of them I have.

Some of them I've only been able to spend a few short hours with.  Some of them I talk to every day on the computer.

Some I text all day long.  And send funny pictures to.  And vent to when things aren't going right.  Or when they are.

Some are there in the middle of night when we are both awake.  We keep each other company.

Sometimes it has nothing to do with diabetes.  Sometimes it does.

They just get it.  We don't have to live next door to each other to be a part of each other's lives.  To understand.  (Although it's nice when they do!)

If I cold take away Sweet's diabetes, I would.  In a heartbeat.

But I wouldn't give up the wonderful friends I've made along the way.

They are, without a doubt, the best, most unexpected gift!

To my girls, thank you for being there for me!  I couldn't make it without your love and support.  And it is my honor to be there for you!  No matter how many miles separate us!

To my readers, I urge you to get connected.  The DOC is amazing.  Reach out.  Support and love is out there.  Just waiting for you!  You don't have to walk this path alone!



  1. So sorry for the loss of your friend's husband. I am also so sorry for the big scare you suffered when your husband had a heart attack a year ago. I am glad that you have found such great friends and that your hubby is now healthy and strong. May God continue to bless you and your beautiful family.


  2. Beautifully said. I'd ditch diabetes, but I'm so very thankful that some of my best friends have come BECAUSE of diabetes. Hugs to you!

  3. Hugs, mama. And thanks for being a good friend. :)

  4. You have such great friends because you are a great friend to so many. You inspire, you listen, you care. Hugs.

  5. How did I miss this?
    Often, friends look at me like I'm an alien from Mars when I try to explain what the DOC has done for me.


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