Flying Solo: Easing Into Independence

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

How is it already April? 

Somehow in the midst of cheer games and tournaments and conferences and a birthday and just LIFE... time has gotten away from me! 

We've had a lot going on lately.  There's been a lot of exciting, new things!  And there's been a lot of our normal status quo. 

After living with diabetes for so long, it has become part of our status quo.  It's just what we do.  And even planning for something that might require doing something different diabetes wise is just part of the routine. 

It's become so routine that I didn't even realize how big a deal one Saturday in March really was.  Until it was over. 

Sweets was invited to a birthday party for one of her good friends. 

We had a crazy day.  We had a baby shower in the morning, a birthday party in the afternoon and a  JDRF event that evening. 

I did not want to sit at a birthday party and handle diabetes for two hours.  Even though this girl's mom is a friend... I just wanted to be like every other mom and drop her off. 

And guess what?  I did. 

We've gotten to the point that Sweets is wanting more independence.  She goes back and forth - wanting independence and wanting us close.  That's just being nine, I guess.  But I want to make sure she gets the independence she craves - without letting diabetes play much of a consideration.  I want us to be able to let her do things without diabetes being part of the equation. 

There was a time that i never thought that would be possible.  I thought that diabetes would always the first thing I thought of on occasions like this.  I thought it would always make things more difficult.  I thought it would always be a pain in our rears. 

But guess what else?

It's really not. 

As diabetes has become just part of our lives, that's what it's become.  Just another part.  Not the most important part.  Sure - it's still a pain in the rear.  And yeah, it does make things more difficult.  But not like I thought it would.  We just do what we need to do and move on. 

So when we thought about this birthday party...
And how she wanted to go alone...
And how I wanted her to go alone...

We just did it. 

The birthday girl's mom has knows Sweets since before she was dx'd.  She doesn't exactly know what to do to care for her, but she is aware.  Sweets had her diabetes bag and her Dexcom (that at the time was hooked up to the Nightscout rig - since then we have switched to the Share.  More info to come on that...).  We told her to call us when she was ready to eat. And we left.

She called us and told us what she was eating.  We told her what to bolus.  She said they were having cupcakes later.  So I told her that when she was ready to eat a cupcake to bolus this much and just eat it. 

And she did.  

Well, sort of. 

She bolused for it just like she was supposed to.  But then she didn't like it. 
SO SHE ATE SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD!

She didn't call.  She didn't ask.  She just did what she thought she needed to do. 

Was it perfect?  Was it what I would have done? 

No.  But that's ok.  She wasn't too far off on carbs.  And it was at the end of the party so we just had her eat something else when picked her up.  But she tried.  And we praised her and encouraged her and let it become a learning experience. 

Later that night, it hit me.  What we had done.  What she had done.  All on her own. 

It's something that so many people take for granted.  How easy it is to drop your kid off at a party.  And it's something that when they are first diagnosed and when they are so little you wonder if you will ever be able to manage. 

But we did!  I was pretty proud!  Of ALL of us! 

I used to wonder if we would ever be able to let her go... But now I know.  We can. 

It might not always be as easy as this was. 

But she's going to fly solo.  It's just who she is. 
And we will be right there to catch her in case she falls and cheer her own no matter what. 

3 comments:

  1. This made me cry and gave me such hope! Our sweet Molly is 9 years old too- but has only been diagnosed since February 23rd, 2015. We are not to the point of much (if any) independence yet but I am excited that it will come with time. Thank you for your blog and posts... they offer such comfort, commonality and hope!

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  2. AND ps... BRAVO to ALL of you!!!! Well done! :-)

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  3. Great post. My daughter will be 9 this month and we are slowly letting her go solo too. Last week I completely forgot about Apple Day at school until it was already 3pm. Just before bed that I night I apologized for forgetting. She said "that's ok, I tested and gave myself insulin. I know there are 20 carbs in a little apple". and that's all there was too it. I just grinned. My baby is growing up.

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