Our local JDRF chapter is having a special event on World Diabetes Day.
We are lighting up some buildings and monuments blue. There will be a big screen showing information about diabetes as well as pictures of people living with Type 1. We were asked to send in a picture and have Sweets answer this question...
"What would you do if you didn't have diabetes for a day?"
At first, she didn't understand what I was asking.
"Ummm... I'd make sure to tell you if I felt sick or something. So you could test me."
"No, Sweets... I'm asking what you would do if you didn't have diabetes anymore."
"I'd ask for it back."
"What? Why would you want it back?"
"Because I have diabetes."
Ok... she's not getting it.
And I'm starting to tear up. Because can she really not fathom life without diabetes?
She doesn't remember a life without diabetes.
She's FIVE YEARS OLD.
I decide to try another angle...
"Ok, let's pretend that you woke up tomorrow and you didn't have diabetes. No more! No more finger pricks, no more shots, no more pump... all gone. What would you do?"
A little smile spreads over her lips... THIS she understands.
"No more shots? I'd be really happy and excited! I'd call all of my friends and tell them. I'd have a party. And if I got sick, it would be ok because it wouldn't be diabetes."
Ahhhh.... sweet, sweet girl.
She gets so nervous about getting sick - and especially throwing up - because every time she's thrown up since dx, we've ended up in the ER. And she HATES going to the hospital.
I so want that for her. I want her to know what it's like to live without diabetes. I want her to experience that.
This reminds me of a post I wrote a while ago. I went looking for it and it wasn't even over here. I wrote it over a year and half ago. But it's still the same...
To wrap up Diabetes Blog Week, let’s pretend a cure has been found. We are all given a tiny little pill to swallow and *poof* our pancreases are back in working order. No side effects. No more insulin resistance. No more diabetes. Tell us what your life is now like. Or take us through your first day celebrating life without the Big D. Blog about how you imagine you would feel if you no longer were a Person With Diabetes.
As much as I work for a cure, I have not given much thought to what life WITHOUT D would really be like. It's one of those "too good to be true" things. But it does not take me long to come up with a whole list of things that we would do if diabetes ceased to exist.
SLEEP. Through the night. Night after night after night after night....
Never set an alarm to go off at 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 again. And certainly never set an alarm for ALL those times.
Never hold my breath when I go into wake her up in the morning - because I would no longer fear that she has passed away in the middle of the night.
Avery would never be woken up in the middle of the night to drink juice.
Buy every color and kind of Peep made and let her ENJOY them!
Enjoy a meal without counting carbs, giving insulin, and recording it all in our little blue book.
Forget the carb values for every food imaginable.
Sweetpea would get to have playdates at a friends house WITHOUT MOM- because it would no longer be too much to ask.
Not interrupt playtime, dance, gymnastics, SCHOOL to check blood sugar.
Not worry if she fell down. Not hold my breath until she gets up.
Sweetpea's fingertips would no longer always look dirty - because all those millions of little bruises and holes from bg checks would heal and disappear forever.
Sweetpea's rump would no longer have little red marks all over it because we would no longer be inserting a needle into her body and connecting an insulin pump. Or a continuous glucose monitor.
I would no longer see my child's blood every. single. day.
Sweets could go to slumber parties with her friends. And without Mom.
Sweets could drive a car without having to test bg first.
She could drink all the apple juice she wanted. Without a worry. And she could drink it SLOWLY and ENJOY it.
She could go away to college without being hounded by a frantic mother about her bg. ( I KNOW this will happen.)
Sweetpea would live a long, healthy life - and things like HEART ATTACK, STROKE, NEUROPATHY, BLINDNESS, AMPUTATIONS, KIDNEY FAILURE... would not be part of her reality.
We would throw a party - no, a PARTY! We would serve things like pizza, ice cream, cake, and cookies with no worries. We would not watch every bite that she takes. We would have a bonfire and make smores. We would throw into the fire ALL OF OUR SUPPLIES. In go the syringes, the insulin, the sets, the tegaderm, the numbing cream, the alcohol wipes, the lancets, the finger prickers, the meters, the strips, the cases, the pouches, the ketone strips, the blood ketone tester and blood ketone strips, the pods, the adhesive remover, the glucose tabs....
We would save one of each supply and put it into a shadow box and hang in prominently in our house so that every day we see WHAT WAS and give thanks to God for what now IS.
But before any of that...
I would fall to my knees and weep.
For a long, long time.
SO... what would YOU do??