The day after Thanksgiving, our tradition is to take Sweets to the mall to see Santa.
We're not crazy midnight shoppers... I was up - but I was checking bg's!
We have found this to be the PERFECT day because there is NO LINE! She had been eagerly awaiting Santa for weeks... And she was so excited to FINALLY get to visit with him!
Immediately after this pictures was taken, she had a complete meltdown. She had been acting perfectly fine. Everything was wonderful. The plan was to go into Gymboree (Hi. My name is Hallie and I'm addicted to Gymboree.) and then go eat lunch. J had to work so my parents went with us to the mall. Mom and I were ready to get our shop on and had just entered the store when she literally stopped dead in her tracks, dug in her heels, and had a fit. "I WANT TO EAT NOW!!!"
I tried to reason with her. Gaga was still parking the car and we had to wait on him anyway... But she was having none of it. She was yelling. She was jumping up and down. That is NOT her. She had this angry look in her eyes...
Time to test... Something isn't right.
"I felt shaky when I was seeing Santa but I thought I was just afraid."
*sigh* A juice box and some lunch made it all better.
After the mall, we got back in the car to go to another store. Sweets loves playing with my phone and she loves taking pictures. She was doing this when she handed me the phone and said, "Will you video me? I have something I want to say..."
This is what we got...
(Side note... the whole "Food Mommy can Handle" thing - Long story. I have IBS which has been acting up horribly for MONTHS. So I've been cutting out fat, fried foods, red meat, greasy stuff... and I should cut out caffeine but please, I'm a DMama - I've got to be able to function!)
Seems pretty well adjusted, huh? Seems like D is just a part of life. No big deal.
A few hours later, we were helping Mimi and Gaga put up their tree. It was pod change time. The previous pod change was horrible. And this one... worse. She had a complete meltdown. She cried. She sobbed. She screamed. She jumped up and down.
"I don't want to have diabetes anymore! I want to give it back! Mommy, why can't I give it back? It's not fair. I hate this."
It took everything I had to not just sit there and sob right along with her.
It's not fair.
I'd like to give it back, too.
This day just really illustrated for me how life is with diabetes. Not just for ME. But for HER.
No matter how cool we are with it...
No matter how much we're used to it...
No matter how well adjusted we might seem...
It still sucks. It's still hard.
And there is a part of us that will NEVER be totally ok with it.
That's why we fight for a cure.