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Stable is a Four Letter Word

Monday, March 25, 2013

Last week was our version of Hell Week.

We went to the eye doctor on Monday, the Endocrinologist on Wednesday and the dentist on Saturday.

I'm not sure whose idea that was but it was a BAD one.  Remind me never to schedule appointment like that again.  By the time we walked out of the dentist on Saturday morning, my nerves were shot and I needed a drink!

It's recommended that people with diabetes visit the eye doctor yearly to make sure nothing is wonky with their vision (my very technical explanation).  Sweets originally went to the eye doctor at 6 months old and saw a specialist.  This is because Jason is the most near sighted person you will ever meet.  (I'm not exaggerating here.  We took her to his specialist to make sure that if she had some of the same problems that he has that we corrected it as early as possible.)

Jason has been visiting this office for years so it's kind of like Cheers when we walk in.  Everyone knows him.  And they have sort of known Sweets since she was born.  So they love her.  And it's pretty casual.

But I can't even count how many times someone asked me if her diabetes was "stable".

Ummm...... Yes?  No?  Maybe?  Sometimes?  When Venus is in retrograde and a zebra with pink stripes knocks on my front door?

How do I even start to answer that question?

Of course, it's not just doctors and nurses.

It's family and friends, too.

Sometimes it's the people closest to us who just don't get it.  They are the ones asking if our kids are under control yet or if they are stable.

And THAT is most irritating.  And disappointing.

That makes us feel the most alone.  Because if those closest to us don't understand.... who will?

And maybe we're a little sensitive (or at least I am...).  But it's that word "yet" that gets to me.  Like our kids should be under some magical control where their blood sugars are always in range.  You know... because that's possible.

It makes me want to stand on a table or something and scream "Don't you get it?!?  There is no stable with diabetes!  There is no control!  Control is an illusion.  It's a mirage.  We MANAGE diabetes.  There are still highs.  There are still lows.  No matter what we do.  We will never be perfect.  We can never replicate the pancreas to perfection.  And that's just the way it is."

I really do try not to take it personally.  If you don't live it there is just no way you can really understand what it's like.  And I certainly had no idea before April 27, 2009.

Maybe that's why this life can feel so lonely and isolating.  Because when you get down to the nitty gritty - very few people really understand.

However.... when we DO find someone who understands....  Priceless!

I would be LOST without the Diabetes community - both online and in real life.

And I am so grateful for the wonderful people we find that - while they don't really get it - they try.

At the dentist on Saturday morning, we had a little problem.  The endocrinologist has drastically lowered Sweets I:C ratio for breakfast.  That had worked fine at school.  But this was the first weekend...

She was acting off.  She was really nervous and emotional.  She cried.  I had to hold her hand during the x-rays.  She had a total meltdown when the hygienist started brushing her teeth.

I should have known.

We were watching Dex and it was going down... so we tested.  49

No wonder.

So what does one do when low in the middle of a teeth cleaning?  Eat Smarties!

Of course, I didn't have a juice in the bag.  Or my purse.

But the dentist and the hygienist were beyond awesome.  They were so kind.  They didn't make us feel bad.  They didn't act put out.  They just rolled with it.  And they were so very kind to Sweets.  They saw her nerves and talked her through every step.  And as soon as her blood sugar started coming up, she was fine and back to her normal self.

I am so grateful for them!

We all have times when we get so irritated by the ignorance - either willing or unwilling - of those around us.  We all have been hurt and disappointed by people close to us who we think SHOULD understand.  And yet... they choose not to be involved.  Not to learn.  Not to really understand.

There's nothing we can do about that.

And that is really hard to accept.

But it makes it so much sweeter when we find people who DO get it.  People who want to learn.  People who want to understand.  People who are living the same life.

Today I'm going to give some of those people a big hug!  And just forget the rest.

Because you can lead a horse to water.  But you can't make it drink.



  1. I used to be like this. My Mum is Type 1 and I didn't really get it. Not until July 13th 2012 when my four year old son was diagnosed with Type 1.

    Suddenly I knew just how much of a four letter word stable was.

    Still I might try and remember your tip to not schedule our appointments for the same week!

  2. You nailed this out of the park! Stable. It's right up there with control for me. As in "with a dog and a pump, why isn't your daughters diabetes under control?"

    Thank you!

  3. I sooooo get it!! Just like when they say, "She's on a pump, doesn't that control it?" Ummmm....NO! Grrrr! Roll with it Mama and know you are LOVED!!!

  4. The 'stable' question drives me nuts, too! It's like I'm doing something wrong because her BGs are here, there, and everywhere.
    And the question about night checks gets me, too. No matter who it is, my answer has become 'as long as she is sleeping in my house, I will test her int he middle of the night so I can do everything I can to make sure she wakes up in the morning.' Yeah, a bit drastic, but it's the truth, and I think people need to understand it's not me being a helicopter mom and being overprotective!

    ~rant over~ ;)

  5. I never know how to answer that question (how's your diabetes?). Still there? Still sucks?

  6. When friends and family ask if he is stable or under control it annoys me and I don't knwo how to answer. You mean this hour? Or today? Or this month? But when a health care professional like a doctor or nurse says things like, oh you have a pump so you don't have to do anything with your diabetes now! (that was one of our favs from a nurse) or when they ask what was your last number? What is that going to tell you? 300. I was high this morning but for the last week I have been under 200 and great! Or 50 but for the last week it has been over 200. One number tells you nothing and for a health care professional not to know that drives me insane!! Ask his A1C. That question is a much more reasonable question than, what was your last number or are you under control.....

  7. What Sandy re-posted.... exactly how I feel. Nailed it.

    Maybe stable is more like a guilt trip in disguise.


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