We have been very busy around here! In the past two weeks alone, we have traveled to Florida, celebrated Easter, and attended a JDRF skating party! Whew! We are exhausted!

So... I'm going to tell you about all of this fun through pictures!

This is Sweetpea at my favorite restaurant - The Beach House! I love sitting out on the deck, listening to music and watching the sun shining or setting over the ocean. Sweetpea was here for the first time at 8 weeks old to celebrate my 30th birthday!

Sweetpea's favorite part is going out and playing in the sand after dinner!

We took Sweetpea to her first dinner at a Japanese Steak House! Here she is enjoying dinner with Mimi! She really liked using the "tweezers" to eat her food!

Sweetpea is standing out on the dock that looks out into the bay. You can see the mangroves and some of the condos in the complex where we are. She and Gaga were looking for Gators!

Here's the bathing beauty at the pool!

Here we are at another one of our favorite places to eat. This place is called "Skinny's". You would not be skinny long if you ate there too often. They have great burgers! You cant' let the looks of the place fool you - it's a little shack - literally a shack - on the beach. There are no "windows" - just chicken wire. Lots of sand. But it totally ROCKS!

My two favorite people out on the pier waiting for dinner! It was windy that day - and the wind was cold. But - we did see a dolphin! It came up VERY close to the pier and was showing off for us! It was the closest I've ever seen a dolphin in the wild. We could have jumped off the pier and touched it!

This was taken while playing Mini-Golf! Sweetpea loves mini golf! She doesn't have a lot of patience yet but she has a good time!

A very exciting part of our trip was meeting D Mama Lora and her kiddos in real life! Here are Justin, Sweetpea, and Leighanna!

Here we all are! We met for dinner and hung out at the mall! It was really like meeting a friend for dinner - not meeting someone that you didn't know! She is as sweet as she seems from her blog! And her kids are DARLING! Justin was so brave getting his insulin shot and he dealt with all the D stuff with such maturity! It was fun for Sweetpea to see another kid with diabetes - but it was more fun for her to play two new friends! She LOVED them both! They ran around and played like old friends, too! And she talked about her "new friends" for the rest of the trip! In fact, she still mentions them and definitely wants to see them again soon! So do I! Thanks for meeting us, Lora! It was such a neat experience to meet in person!

Sweetpea's favorite part of this mall is the indoor carousel! It's this two floored carousel that sits in the middle of the mall - and is a big draw for the kids! It goes kinda fast - so the adults take turns riding with Sweetpea so we don't puke!

Sweetpea wanted to go to the beach like none other! It was cold the first couple of days there but warmed up nicely. The ocean water was FREEZING - but the beach was great!

It was a great trip! We were able to relax a little. It was so nice for me to be able to focus only on D - and not have to worry about work! I didn't feel the panic that I do at home when her numbers are crazy and I know I have to get up and go to work the next day. I felt much more calm and I think that helped me make better D decisions, too!

The best part was that her numbers ROCKED! I don't know if it was the increased activity or the warm weather or what - but we had GREAT bg's! That was a wonderful gift! Even on vacation, D follows you everywhere. There really is NO vacation from D. But, the least it could do was cooperate and that it did! Mostly.

We had one low on the way to the aquarium which made for a quick visit. She had been talking about going to the aquarium forever (we go every year: Mom and Dad have passes). So it was a little disappointing that she just didn't feel good and really wasn't interested in looking at anything. But - we can go again!

We had a kinda scary low one day after she drank some fresh squeezed OJ from the orange grove. She was also eating at the time and we bolused for all of it after she was done. She shot up to the upper 300's about an hour post bolus. She was not feeling well so we checked. Then about an hour later she had fallen to about 130. We had checked at that time because she just was not acting right and we thought she was low. Not low - but falling fast. Actually, much faster than we thought! Only 20 minutes later, we checked again and she was 40. Whoa! Major crash! Glad we caught it - but no more fresh squeezed oj!

We also had a low (43) on the airplane. That was a little freaky - just to realize that we were confined and that there was nothing anyone could do if something happened. I had a million supplies so it was fine. She had a little juice and crackers and came up nicely. It was a little awkward to try to test and treat as the plane was landing in very windy weather... but - you do what you've gotta do!

We had a wonderful time and look forward to going back soon!

The day after we got home was Easter! The Easter bunny visited our house and left Sweetpea some really cool treats!

He left Easter eggs hidden all over our house! Inside the eggs were coins! Sweetpea was excited to go to Target and buy something with her money! She also found an egg or two with m&m's. She didn't even notice the lack of major candy! She got a few m&m's and kisses - and that was cool with her! She liked the little toys and coins just as much.

We got dressed and went to church. Here is our little Easter Princess all dolled up and riding in style!

And here she is at church...

Easter here is unpredictable. The last few years have found us hunting for eggs in winter coats with snow on the ground. This year - the weather was PERFECT! It was a warm and beautiful day! We went over to my parent's house that afternoon for dinner and ANOTHER egg hunt! It seems the Easter Bunny left her some eggs and Gaga and Mimi's house, too!

It was a wonderful day! I could not have created a more perfect day if I had tried!

Then.... on Friday, we went to a skating party with JDRF! Here is Sweetpea on her skates...

Sweetpea went around the rink almost once! This was her first time on skates. She liked it - but was frustrated that she was not really good at it right away! Perfectionism - I wonder where she gets that?!? (it's BOTH of us, Thank You!)

We got to meet another D- Mom! Misty was there with her family and we got to meet her and Ally and Jessi and the rest of the family in person! Again, it's like meeting up with a friend you've known forever! Her girls are all super cute and super sweet - just like Misty herself! I'm looking forward to getting to know her even better and hanging out this summer! I know the girls are going to have lots of fun!

I also got to reconnect with a D-Mom I had met a LONG time ago. We had sat together at the Walk Kick-off Lunch back in August. Her daughter was diagnosed about 16 months ago. It was nice to see her and talk again - and I look forward to getting to know her better, too!

It's funny how you meet people and instantly "connect" with them. Funny of D brings us together. I'm glad that it does. It's priceless to find others who "get it". Other people who speak the same weird language. Other people who worry about the same things. Other people whose lives changed in an instant - just like yours. The D community and D-friends are the saving grace of this crazy life we lead! And I thank God for all of you every day!

So, there you have it! Our last few weeks in a nutshell! We had a great vacation, great Easter, and great times with great D friends! We're hoping life calms down a little but also hoping that the D monster stays in his closet and leaves us alone a little longer!

What it Takes

Ever wonder what it takes to be gone for a week with a diabetic child?


Here's what it takes....


Here's what you see:





* insulin cartridges (what you put the insulin in - it goes into the pump)


* adhesive remover (gets off the old site easily)


* alcohol wipes (to keep things clean)


* insets (the pink things - contains the tubing, the catheter that goes under the skin, the new site sticker thing and the needle that inserts it all)


* magic cream ( numbing cream to numb the new site)


* extra plugs (to plug the site when we unhook the pump - for baths, swimming, etc)


* extra battery cover for the pump


* Tegaderm (like a bandaid - covers the magic cream while it works it's magic)


* hand sanitizer


* extra batteries for the pump and the remote


* extra lancets (what pricks her finger - we use and LOVE the accu-check multiclix)


* bg test strips (we need a LOT)


* syringes (just in case the pump quits working - we use a very small pediatric syringe)


* rubber gloves (to apply the magic cream)


* blood ketone tester (gives an immediate ketone level - very important if sick or when ketones appear)


* meter/remote, bg test strips, and clicker (we carry this with us EVERYWHERE! We use the meter to check Avery's bg - but it is also a remote and we can bolus her (give her insulin) with the meter instead of getting out her pump. Again, we LOVE the multi-clicks lancet device (clicker) to prick her finger.)


* a bag of extra supplies (inset, glove, cream, tegaderm, adhesive remover, alcohol wipes.... it goes everywhere with us just in case...)


* insulin - aka Liquid Gold (we carry a vial around with us all the time)


* syringes (we carry a few with us at all times - just in case)


* syringe magnifier (we need itty, bitty doses of insulin and found the magnifier to be a life saver when we were doing MDI (multiple daily injections) and giving a bolus of .25u)


* juice, smarties, and m&m's to treat lows (the juicy juice box has 13g carbs - perfect! However, we found at Wal-Mart in Florida smaller boxes of ORGANIC apple juice with 13g carbs - they had Big Bird on them... Nature's Best??? I like these better! Have yet to find organic smarties.... ha ha ha)


* Glucagon (the life saving medicine in a syringe that we use in case she ever passes out and can not swallow juice)

All of this....





Just to keep my child alive for 7 days.



Humbling? Oh, yes.


Stressful? Oh, yes!


We had no problems flying with our supplies. We packed everything into one bag along with the travel we got from our endocrinologist. It basically said that we needed to take certain things on the plane and they better not say anything about it or my sleep-starved, stressed-out, self could very possibly go off the deep end! Ok, so it didn't exactly say those exact words. But it was close!


Airport securing in both cities were totally cool about it. They didn't even look at the letter. Supplies were fine - no questions asked. Last summer, they took everything out and looked at it, inspected the juice, etc... Not this time.


We decided to go ahead and take the pump off before we went thru the machines. If you travel with a pump, keep in mind that the airport security folks don't really know anything about pumps. They wanted to put it thru the x-ray machine! NO WAY! We had to make sure that they knew that it could NOT go thru the machine and they needed to hand check it. Both places did that with no problems. You just have to stay on your toes!


We also decided to suspend the pump when taking off and landing. You don't have to do this but we had heard that altitude can affect insulin delivery. Again, no big deal.


So, the biggest challenge in traveling with an insulin pump and supplies was the packing and remembering of everything! You sure need a LOT of stuff to live with diabetes! But how wonderful that we have all of this technology and supplies that makes living and traveling with D so much easier than it used to be! It might have taken an entire bag of it's own, but I'd take that any day over the old glass syringe that needs boiled and the needles that need hand sharpened!

Flashbacks

First of all - WOW. I almost didn't post my last post (Lost). I wondered if it sounded too "woe is me". But then, I thought, "What the heck?!" And I'm so glad I did. I was so surprised to see how many other feel the same way I do. It makes me feel better to know I'm not alone in this journey - not in dealing with the diabetes nor in all the other crap that goes with it! I hate that we all feel this way....but I'm glad that we have each other! I love what Wendy said, "Let's keep our chins up together!" We WILL keep our chins up. And we WILL get there.... together!

Today I took Sweetpea BACK to the doctor to get her ears checked out. She's been complaining off and on for a week or more of ear pain. Yesterday she refused to drink because it hurt. She said she couldn't hear herself talk. She woke up crying in the night.... She's also super congested and has a low grade fever. Not good symptoms. Add to that "puking" up drainage this morning (pukes with D is my worst nightmare). Not good at all.

Cut to the chase.... her ear looks "suspicious" but is not a full blown infection. But, considering she's had this cold, cough, etc for about 10 days now and it's gotten progressively worse... we got some antibiotics and will hopefully be congestion free and feeling good for our Spring Break!

Here's where the flashback comes in...

We were taken back to the exam room today by a very sweet nurse (all the nurses and docs there are great) who took extra time to find out which ear hurt and take her temp in the other one. As I was running through her list of symptoms, I ended with, "She had moderate ketones this morning - but they're gone now".

The kind of smiled and said, "Were you diagnosed here?"

"Yes."

"I was the one who did the blood test. You were here with your husband, right? You were in the room next door."

"Yes, we were."

"I cried too that day. I just kept looking at that result and thinking something had to be wrong. That it couldn't be right."

I was floored.

I have never thought about how that day affected the other people involved. I've really only thought about what it was like for us - our family. I guess I never thought it would impact the doctors and nurses that were there, too.

I remember that day and yet it's a blur. I remember her testing Sweetpea. They tested her toes. Then coming back in to do it again because it wasn't "working right".... I knew then. Oh, who's kidding who - I knew before we went.

I remember trying desperately to hold it together. I remember breaking down in tears when we were told what I knew in my heart to be true, was true indeed. I vaguely remember her being in and out of the room while I sat there and cried.

"We've come a long way since then" I said.

"It's been year, hasn't it. It was exactly a year ago."

"Yes. April 27th."

"I remember."

"It's been quite a year but we're doing ok. Sweetpea, show her what you have now!"

Sweetpea immediately shows off her Tinkerbell pouch and pink pump. She loves that pump!

"Wow! You have an insulin pump! That's great! When did you get it?"

"October. About 5 months in. It's great. We LOVE it!"

Sweetpea chimes in, "Yes. And you press these buttons here and put in the numbers and it gives me my insulin!"

"She's so knowledgeable about it. She's so mature, I'd expect that."

"Yeah, she understands a lot about diabetes now and everything we have to do."

"That's great. Well, the doctor will be in soon. I hope you have a nice vacation!"

"Thank you. We will!"

And we smile goodbye at each other as this look passes between us. This look of knowing. Of understanding. Of having been through something together. I guess you form a bond with people who were there on the worst day of your life.

It obviously made an impact on her. That day. My baby. Our grief.

It was a special moment. One that I'm so glad we were able to share!

Lost

I look in the mirror and what do I see?

A stranger staring back at me.

I seriously look in the mirror, on the days when I actually have enough time to look at myself, and I barely recognize the person looking back at me.

I'm a MESS.

What happened??

I've never been so tired in my life. That might be one factor. It's probably the cause of the dark circles and glazed eyes.

I gained about 10 pounds after dx. I know why. No time to work out. Stress. No sleep. Eating fast food. But it won't go away. I'm trying - really trying. And it's not working. I lost about 3 of those pounds and the rest are holding on for dear life. I am BEYOND frustrated with this. Eating less has always worked. Why not now?

This leads to my next problem... nothing fits. I am in serious trouble when it gets warmer. Break out the garbage bag, I guess.

People talk to me and I don't hear them. I have trouble forming complete, coherent thoughts.

I forget things. All. the. time.

I used to exercise like a maniac. Every day before I got married. Then a few times a week. Then, once Sweetpea was born, at least a couple times a week. Now - none.

I don't recognize the person I see.

And I can't help but think.... WHAT HAPPENED?

I used to be so cute. So put together. Hair, nails, makeup, outfit - everything. I miss that.

Now I'm lucky to get where I'm going. I've got a million and one thngs going on in my brain. You know the list... all that goes into taking care of a home, a family, working, everything involved in teaching 24 children to read and write, handling diabetes and it's ever changing demands...

It's all I can do to keep my head above water.

I know that once you have a family, things change. You no longer spend the time on yourself that you once did.

That's true - it's just so much WORSE this year.

I used to feel "put together". Now I feel "thrown together".

I know what happened. D happened. And it ran me over and never looked back.

It's almost been a year and I still feel like I'm just trying to piece back together the thing formerly known as my life. Some days I'm still in survival mode. Just trying to make it through. On those days, D rules. It's all I can think about. It keeps me busy and occupies my mind every second.

Some days are a little better. On those days, D is like a dull ache. You still know it's there but it's possible to forget about it for awhile. I like those days.

Maybe this, too, will get better in time? Maybe each day D will become a little more in the "background" of our lives. Not totally - I know that will not happen - and with D - It really CAN'T happen.

But maybe one day I'll find myself again. Maybe I'll lose the weight. Maybe I'll start doing some things for me. Maybe I'll start to recognize the person in the mirror.

I hope so.

Anyone else out there lost?