I'm finding lately that I don't always have time to write a full blog.
Often, I'm choosing between blogging and exercising. And well... One is good for my body and the other is good for my soul.
So- I decided to just go ahead and write mini blogs. Just random thoughts I have that if I had time I would delve deeper into. Thoughts that would turn into blogs.
It's 12:22 am according to the clock on my iPhone.
I'm in Sweetpea's room.
She's sleeping. I'm not.
I just decided it was time for a Dex change.
We had restarted it tonight but then she got in the tub. Note to future self: Dex does NOT like to get while it's restarting.
Anyway, I just decided to pull it.
I just did the change by phone light. No cream. She felt it. But she didn't fully wake up.
As I was gathering my supplies, this thought went through my head...
I wonder what it's like to just go to bed? To just put your kid to bed and give them a kiss and see them in the morning? I wonder what it's like to not worry about what's going on in their bodies all night long?
When she was a baby, I'd wonder if she would sleep through the night. This is NOT like that. Not at all. And people should stop comparing the two. Diabetes is only like having a newborn in the sense that it's probably the only thing even slightly relatable to most people.
Having a newborn was cake compared to this. Having a child who sometimes woke during the night? That's like comparing apples and... Sunflowers. Or motorcycles. Or rain.
Anyway, I look out my window at my neighbors darkened houses. And know their children are sleeping inside. Safe in their beds. The parents are probably asleep, too. No one else is pricking fingers or inserting needles or waiting for it to be safe to fall asleep.
It's lonely at night.
She's going up. But I'm afraid to correct too aggressively without Dex helping me. Sometimes it scares me how much I rely on that little sucker.
Ok- if I don't at least grab a quick nap before I have to enter start up numbers then tomorrow is going to be seriously unfun.
Hoping all of you are having nice, steady nights. Wishing you peaceful sleep.
And so glad that while the windows on my street are dark- I know I'm not alone.
Because you are out there. Lighting your own lights. And burning brightly in the night.