I had a ton of ideas for what to call this post...
A New Adventure?
On Her Own?
Mama is Nervous as Hell?!?
Nothing seemed right.
I've even been putting off writing this post literally since the school year ended.
Because writing it makes it real.
And I'm not sure I'm ready...
Sweets will be going into first grade in a few weeks.
For those of you who are new to the blog, she has spent the past three years going to school with me. I am a kindergarten teacher. I teach in an early childhood center that houses only preschool and kindergarten.
It has been a blessing to be able to have her there with me at school and do 95% of her diabetes care.
It's been really hard. But oh so worth it.
Next year, she has to go to a new school.
And I will not be there with her.
It's a very long story... but after lots of prayers and lots of tears, we decided to send Sweets to the school that the other children in our neighborhood attend (The school where I teach is in another district. I am able to drive her and she could attend that district if we chose. A "teacher perk".).
We had originally planned to send her to an elementary in the district where I teach. But things happened... and there is no nurse at the school. I was told there would be no nurse at the school to bolus her at lunch....
I cried. A lot. I wanted to send her there. I really did. I wanted her close by. I wanted her THERE.
I simply could not send her to a school without a nurse. At six years old. When she doesn't feel her lows or count her own carbs or bolus herself...
It started looking more and more like what was supposed to be was that Sweets should go to the school that is in the district where we live.
They have a nurse. A full time nurse.
She would not be the only child with diabetes at this school. In fact, she would be one of FIVE.
It's funny how you have it all planned out, you know? JUST KNOW how it is supposed to be... And then God says.... Ummmmm, not so fast...
Lucky for us, I happen to know another D Mama whose child attends this new school. Misty from Life is Like a Box of Chocolates filled me in! And if you've read any of Misty's posts about school, you know that she LOVES their school nurse.
So that made me feel hopeful....
I visited the school. I was REALLY IMPRESSED with the nurse. I don't think I impress easy when it comes to diabetes. But she was amazing. I didn't have to invent the wheel. She gets it.
And I felt confident....
Sweets is actually excited about attending the new school. I thought she would be devastated about leaving her best friends - but she wasn't. She is THRILLED to go to school with Ally and Jessi! And her friends from our neighborhood. She is THRILLED to not be the only one with D.
One of the best parts? There's going to be another T1 IN HER CLASS!!!!
And I was SOLD!
God totally works things out.... Even if it isn't the way we expect.
Letting her go. Giving up control.
I know that this will be good for us... for HER. She's ready for the independence and the responsibility. She needs to know that someone other than Mom and Dad can handle her diabetes.
It will good for ME to have a little separation, too. To be able to simply be a teacher instead of a teacher AND a pancreas.
I know all this.
It's all true.
But every time I think about it my stomach starts doing flips.
The 504 is done. (You can check it out here. This is last year's copy but it didn't change much.)
I need to make her supply boxes and info sheets and fill out her orders and .....
Every time I think of it I feel ill. Scared. Nervous. Worried. Excited...
So I keep putting it off.
She will be fine. I couldn't ask for a better set up.
I will be fine.
I know this...
But being a D Mama (or Papa) is just so hard sometimes.