Life for a Child

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

The Post with a Thousand Names and a Million Emotions

I had a ton of ideas for what to call this post...

A New Adventure?

Moving On?

On Her Own?

Bittersweet Goodbyes?

Mama is Nervous as Hell?!?


Nothing seemed right.

I've even been putting off writing this post literally since the school year ended.

Because writing it makes it real.

And I'm not sure I'm ready...


Deep Breath....


Sweets will be going into first grade in a few weeks.

For those of you who are new to the blog, she has spent the past three years going to school with me.  I am a kindergarten teacher.  I teach in an early childhood center that houses only preschool and kindergarten.

It has been a blessing to be able to have her there with me at school and do 95% of her diabetes care.

It's been really hard.  But oh so worth it.

Next year, she has to go to a new school.

And I will not be there with her.


It's a very long story... but after lots of prayers and lots of tears, we decided to send Sweets to the school that the other children in our neighborhood attend (The school where I teach is in another district.  I am able to drive her and she could attend that district if we chose.  A "teacher perk".).

We had originally planned to send her to an elementary in the district where I teach.  But things happened... and there is no nurse at the school.  I was told there would be no nurse at the school to bolus her at lunch....

I cried.  A lot.  I wanted to send her there.  I really did.  I wanted her close by.  I wanted her THERE.

But....

I simply could not send her to a school without a nurse.  At six years old.  When she doesn't feel her lows or count her own carbs or bolus herself...

It started looking more and more like what was supposed to be was that Sweets should go to the school that is in the district where we live.

They have a nurse.  A full time nurse.

She would not be the only child with diabetes at this school.  In fact, she would be one of FIVE.

And so....

It's funny how you have it all planned out, you know?  JUST KNOW how it is supposed to be...  And then God says.... Ummmmm, not so fast...

Lucky for us, I happen to know another D Mama whose child attends this new school.  Misty from Life is Like a Box of Chocolates filled me in!  And if you've read any of Misty's posts about school, you know that she LOVES their school nurse.

So that made me feel hopeful....

I visited the school.  I was REALLY IMPRESSED with the nurse.  I don't think I impress easy when it comes to diabetes.  But she was amazing.  I didn't have to invent the wheel.  She gets it.

And I felt confident....

Sweets is actually excited about attending the new school.  I thought she would be devastated about leaving her best friends - but she wasn't.  She is THRILLED to go to school with Ally and Jessi!  And her friends from our neighborhood.  She is THRILLED to not be the only one with D.

One of the best parts?  There's going to be another T1 IN HER CLASS!!!!

And I was SOLD!


God totally works things out....  Even if it isn't the way we expect.

Still.....

I'm nervous.

Letting her go.  Giving up control.

SCARY!!!!

I know that this will be good for us... for HER.  She's ready for the independence and the responsibility.  She needs to know that someone other than Mom and Dad can handle her diabetes.

It will good for ME to have a little separation, too.  To be able to simply be a teacher instead of a teacher AND a pancreas.

I know all this.

It's all true.

But every time I think about it my stomach starts doing flips.

The 504 is done.  (You can check it out here.  This is last year's copy but it didn't change much.)

I need to make her supply boxes and info sheets and fill out her orders and .....

Every time I think of it I feel ill.  Scared.  Nervous.  Worried.  Excited...

So I keep putting it off.

She will be fine.  I couldn't ask for a better set up.

I will be fine.

I know this...

But being a D Mama (or Papa) is just so hard sometimes.



  Photobucket

7 comments:

  1. Oh sweetie, she WILL be fine. You have done such hard work with her and prepared her so well - she will fly! Look at the set up - the nurse, the T1s - it's such a support system there in this school for her. First grade will rock!

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  2. That is such a hard day! I remember the first day back after dx, I cried the whole way home and carried my phone everywhere. The nurse called and checked in every 2 hrs that week, then eased me into a once a day and finally weekly check ins. It sounds like your daughter will have a great support system there and maybe you can take a lunch break to breath now without counting any carbs! In few weeks anyway, when you aren't calling to check on your daughter.
    I can't believe there are still places where there is no nurse!I just dropped off my T1 5th grader for the first day of school. I had a nice talk with the nurse, who updated me on the training she did yesterday for the classroom teachers, the PE teachers, the lunch aides, the bus driver, and the guidance couselor who takes over when the nurse is gone. I am so grateful for the legal protections we have that make our lives easier as moms and keep our kids safe.

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  3. This school sounds awesome for Sweets and I'm sure she will do great! How neat to have another T1 in her class too! I do understand the feelings leading up to all this...I'm a nervous wreck about Nat starting 1st grade now with being on the pod. I don't even know where to start on preparing the school, since I don't feel prepared myself!

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  4. The value of a good school nurse is priceless. I wrote a letter to the principal at the end of the year to let her know that, and plan to every year both as praise for the nurse's work and dedication, and a reminder of how very important a good nurse is to my child.

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  5. Wow! Reading through all the pros of this new school made me know that this is meant to be!! Another T1 in her class is HUGE and will help Sweets feel connected!! One of 5 kids in the school? You can bet that nurse is knowledgeable AND likely understands all D kids have different needs. Im so happy to hear this, my heart is just smiling for you!

    I can honestly say I was a freakish worried D Mom every school year until Maddison hit the more independant age of around 10...even WITH an amazing school Nurse....I know how you are feeling!! It WILL be fine, I hope you soon can "feel" that, without just "knowing" it.

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  6. sorry..I know it hard..Our daughter (4) goes to kinder in a year and I am already stressing!! We have a 12 year old dx about 8 months ago and he is so much older and actually does his own shots now (with the pen)..He can text me his numbers and doses while he is at school but a 4 year old cannot..so I am so stressing.. Good luck, and keep us posted:)My daughter was dx 3 months ago and I show her pics of your little girl..she likes to see someone else who has diabetes too..thank you for blogging:)
    www.craigandmadi.blogspot.com

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  7. That school sounds amazing! It isn't mama, but another T1 in her class sounds pretty good!

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