Monday, September 13, 2010

Mission Impossible

After Saturday's post where I went on and on about all that's going on in the MishMash of my life.... it occurred to me that I may have given some of you the wrong impression.

From all the super sweet comments that I've read... I think you think I'm actually doing a GOOD JOB at all this stuff!

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(That's me, laughing hysterically.)

I am no super woman. Trust me on this.

Don't think that I'm amazing or anything. I'm just an ordinary gal trying to do WAY TOO MUCH!

I'm juggling WAY to many things. And my balls are not all in the air! Oh, No! I've got balls flying out of control ALL OVER THE PLACE!!!! (Get your mind out of the gutter. That is NOT what I was talking about. If you want that - go check out Reyna's post!)

That became clear as crystal today.

So if you were feeling at all like a slacker after reading my last post - well, this will make you feel better.

So, Sweetpea started school last week. On Friday, she was supposed to turn in a homework assignment where she had traced the feet of everyone in her family. I got the paper out of her bookbag on Thursday night. I read it - I swear I did. But for some reason, I saw "September 10th" and thought it was the next week. Sweetpea even told me she needed to do her homework. I said, "Don't worry. We'll do it over the weekend." Then, in the middle of the afternoon, I was watching my student teacher teach a lesson and I actually PAID ATTENTION to the calendar. The calendar with the big red circle on the 10th.

"Oh, crap", I thought to myself.

Her teacher was much too gracious when I went to apologize. We did the assignment and sent it back today.

Today. When I see her class all come running outside for recess. Her class where just about everyone has on yellow.

"Oh, crap", I thought to myself.

"Was it yellow day?" I asked. "Yes."

Her teacher was, once again, too gracious when I apologized for my child who wore RED. (She did look super cute - but.... not the point.)

Her teacher was also way too gracious when I swore that I would get her school supplies (paper towels and tissues) to school TOMORROW!

Because.... "Oh, CRAP!!!", I thought.

I forgot them, AGAIN!!!

See? Suckity Suckity Suck Suck Suck.

I've got too much going on.

And who is paying the price? My sweet girl. That's who. That's not right.

She deserves a Mom who is THERE. Mentally AND physically.

And I've got too much going on.

Three weeks 'till our walk. We're winding up the t-shirt ordering. Dimes for Diabetes is underway. McTeacher night is scheduled. Chick-fil-A STILL won't call me back.

It's time to delegate. It's time to let some of it go.

Diabetes is a humbling disease.

It makes SURE that I know that I am NOT in control. I am NOT in charge. I am NOT perfect.

I don't like that. Not one little bit. But trying to fight that fact is impossible.

Mission Impossible.

It's hard to be everything to everyone.

I want to be the best teacher for my students. I want to advocate for my daughter and all other living with Type 1. I want to be the best wife to my husband. I want to be the best friend to my "peeps" (both pancreatic and otherwise). I want to be the best daughter to my parents. And, more than anything, I want to be the best Mommy to Sweetpea..... and part of that is being the best pancreas!

It's a balancing act. It's like nailing jello to a tree. Or herding cats.

Mission Impossible.

But I'm trying. I'm cutting out what's not essential so I can actually spend time with my kid and dress her in the right thing!!

So, see? I'm not superwoman. I'm just an ordinary gal trying to do the impossible!


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10 comments:

  1. Well, geez, and here I was, imagining you flying around with pink sparkly cape fluttering behind you! Hehe...I hate to break it to you, Hallie, but you just described every single one of us d-moms! We forget, we get sidetracked, and things fall through the cracks. Heck, tonight, I forgot to give Lily her bolus for her bedtime snack! Luckily, my husband was there to fill in that crack! But you know what? Just because we forget things doesn't mean we're not super-moms! Hang in there!

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  2. You're too hard on yourself! You are amazing...at everything you do!

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  3. What??? You make mistakes?! You forget things?! You've let your balls fly all over the place and fall?! Well, I NEVER do that! ;)

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  4. Shoot! I forgot to print out a family picture for my son's school project...thanks for reminding me (though I think it was due today!)
    Um, yeah, you are not alone!

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  5. LOL! I can totally relate! My son just started Kindergarden this year and he has type 1. My daughter just started Head Start (pre-k) and her first assignment (which was due TODAY! LOL!) was to decorate a person shaped cut out... and well, your post just reminded me of that LOL! Guess we'll have to do it first thing in the morning (she's in afternoon classes lol). As far as the color day, Lenny is doing that for the next couple weeks also. The ONLY thing helping me to remember that is that I put that calendar on my refrigerator and check it each morning before I wake him up to get ready for school! I think my husband gets frustrated with me sometimes because it seems like I am always forgetting SOMETHING when we leave the house! A couple weeks ago, I forgot his diabetes bag on the counter when we left to go to the grocery store and run other errands! OOPS! How I forgot that, I have no clue! We all get side tracked from time to time (some more than most.. like me LOL!) but, let's face it, us D moms have a heck of a lot more on our plates than most moms!

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  6. I personally think you are doing a wonderful job! I have also done the same thing. I did it a lot the second half of kindergarten for Peanut because Lovebug had just been diagnosed. I am so used to doing things "last minute" now, even though that isn't the way I would prefer to do things. I guess I just learn to roll with it and accept the fact (although very hard to swallow) that I might mess up once in a while and forget something. After all, it's not like we are super mom's or anything! ;)

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  7. FIRST OFF...HEATHER...WE.ARE.SUPER-MOMS. In addition to feeding, nurturing, clothing, educating, loving, and constructively disciplining a child we are "temporary" pancreases for some rapidly growing subjects ladies. Do you know what that means??? HUh? Do ya? I means we are dieticians, mathematicians, pharmacists, nurses, doctors, guesstimators, and sugar dispensers...all on MINIMAL sleep mind you.

    Hallie. YOU.ARE.AMAZING. I admire your tenacity with all you do. Your blogging draws people in. We know we have a friend in you every time we come here to read. We know we are not alone. Yellow, red, blue...what have you...no one will judge you for this small mis-steps. You are doing the very best that you can in all that you do. I stand in awe of that.

    Imposter? You are not.

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  8. BTW...sorry about my mis-spelled words on my comment...I was typing too quickly - LOL

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  9. You are doing the most amazing job ever KEEPING SWEETPEA ALIVE EVERY DAY! Give yourself some props and don't sweat the small stuff...

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  10. Oh Hallie, welcome to my life! I have too many of those forgetting experiences to count! Give your brain some room to adjust...and cut yourself some slack...you can't catch all the balls flying around...sometimes you just can catch the life saving important ones! ((HUGS))

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