In the past few weeks, I have gotten some emails from some newly diagnosed families. Just yesterday I got an email from a close high school friend saying that her neighbor's child was just diagnosed.
It breaks my heart. Each and every time I hear of new diagnosis.
Because I KNOW. I was there. I will never forget it.
I clearly remember those days shortly after diagnosis. The fear. The pain. The numbness. The exhaustion.
And I wondered .... when it is going to get better? When it this going to get easier? WHEN???
And now that it's been over 2 years since those days... I know the answer.
I saw this on Pinterest (my new addiction! You can click to follow me - but I warn you, it's mostly school stuff with a little D thrown in.). I got chills. How true is this? It says exactly what I've been trying to put into words.
It really never does get easier.
It still is hard to hold your child down. Or watch them cry in pain. It still hurts to see the effects of a low or a high. It's still scary. It's still hard.
There is not one magic day where you wake up and *POOF* life with diabetes becomes a piece of cake.
Sorry. Doesn't work that way.
It never gets easier. YOU just get better.
You might not believe that right now.
But I swear to you... it happens.
Not that you become some perfect pancreas that never makes a mistake. Sorry. It doesn't work that way, either.
You just get better.
Slowly. Each day. One step at a time.
Every time you calculate a bolus.
Every time you give a shot.
Every time you swag a meal.
Every time you correct a low.
Every time you fiddle with a carb ratio.
Every time you do a new pump site.
Every time you change a basal rate.
Every time you correct a high.
Every time you rage bolus. Or combo bolus. Or both.
Every time you deal with an illness.
You learn. You live. You move forward.
And you get better.
You get better at being the stand in, the replacement for an organ that decided to up and quit and go on vacation and just plain old walk off the job.
It's a job where you will NEVER be perfect all the time. So try to get used that fact now. Never ending pancreatic perfection is IMPOSSIBLE.
Don't expect it to all happen at once.
But one day you will look back and you will think, "HEY! I kind of know what I'm doing!"
You may not be quite as scared. You many not be quite as apprehensive. You may not be quite as tired (ha, ha - ok so maybe you will be ...). You may not be quite as uncertain.
YOU CAN DO THIS.
You may think that you can't. But you CAN.
I swear to you.
It will happen.
You will still have your days. Your moments.
You will still cry. You will still hurt. You will still grieve.
You will still second guess yourself. You will still make mistakes.
But YOU will be better.
Diabetes does change you. But not all in a bad way.
Reach our for the support of the online community (and your local IRL community, too). We need each other. We are stronger together.
And just know....
It may not get an easier. At least not all the time.
But YOU will get better. So will your child.
And that is priceless.