It's one if those things you don't expect to happen to YOU - or HER. At least not YET...
But just like diabetes doesn't discriminate in age or gender or race... Neither does diabetes burnout.
When we went to DC, we moved Sweetpea's site from her arm to her tush. We thought it would be easier for swimming. No problem there...
When we got home, we needed to change the site. I wanted to go back to her arm. She wanted to stay on her tush. Fine. I totally get that wearing the pump in a tank on your back might be uncomfortable at times and taking a break is ok.
My only issue is that arm numbers are way better than tush numbers. Better absorption in the arms, I think. And with Dex on her tush already (She thinks Dex is too big for her arm and I agree!), that leaves very little room to move the pump sites around. (ok... that was 2 things!)
At the next site change, I asked again if she wanted to go back to her arm.
"NO!" she yelled.
I was a bit taken aback at this strong reaction.
"Why not?" I asked. "Why don't you want to go back to your arm?"
"I just don't."
And my inner dialogue begins.... "I don't want to make her do a site somewhere she is not comfortable with. I want her to feel like she has some control over this and it's not something that we are just doing to her all the time. However, we are OUT of real estate back there. I don't even know if I can FIND another place for the site on that cheek (the other cheek is totally taken up by Dex). And she was FINE with the arm last week. What is going on?!?"
So I try to explain...
"Sweets, I'm just worried that I can't find a place for the new site back there. It's good to rotate the sites around because that helps you get more numbers in range and that helps you feel really good."
"I don't like the arm. I don't like it there."
"Why not? You've been wearing it there for months. What's bothering you?"
I don't like it. I don't want to do a site change. It itches."
Okaaaaay.... She has NEVER complained about it itching.
"Oh. I didn't know that it itches. We can put some cream on it to help...."
"I just don't like it. I don't want to do it."
And she threw herself face down on her pillow and started to cry.
I know how she feels. I feel the same way. It's too much. Too much diabetes. With no time off for good behavior.
To be fair, J thinks that it was less about diabetes and burnout and more about being a difficult 5 year old. He thinks that if I had said "Let's out your site on your tush!" she would have had a fit about that, too, because often she wants the opposite of what I want - just for kicks.
I know it's hard to believe looking at that sweet little face but she can be very stubborn and difficult! I, of course, have no idea where she gets this from!
He might be right. She was tired....
But all I could think of was the day the previous week when we had done a site change at school and she had cried and yelled, "I hate diabetes!" down the hall. She tells her teachers that she hates diabetes. Why isn't she telling me?
It broke my heart. Again.
It's one thing for ME to feel this way. But I'm trying to keep HER from feeling this way as long as possible. Like forever.
It's HARD to do the job of a body part that went into retirement at an early age. Especially when it's not eve one of YOUR body parts (although since she's my child and came from my body, I kind of feel like it IS - at least partially - my body part, too!) It's hard not to feel resentment that said body part if off living it up - probably in Florida - enjoying early bird specials and frequent trips to the beach. I picture her pancreas on a chaise lounge by the ocean, sipping a pina colada while wearing shades... Sighing and saying, "Ahhh... this is the LIFE!".
We went ahead and did the site on her tush. I moved it out a bit further - where there was still tissue but it wasnt totally on her side... She was happy. I figured we'd deal with it later!
Some of my wonderful D Mama friends (Tracy, Heidi, Lora to name a few) suggested that I try a reward for doing an arm site. So last night I was prepared. A box of goodies to choose from if she chose an arm site. But I would not be upset if she chose the tush. It's her body and her decision!
But I didn't need it.
Last night was site change night. I suggested an arm site.
"But I'll get cold!"
"I get cold. With just my tank on."
Ohhhhh..... She wears her tank when she goes to bed. After we have done her change, we put her Jammie shirt on. So she didn't want to do a site change on her arm because she got cold. That was it.
I told her we would put the Jammie shirt on and I'd work around it. And she was fine with that. Problem solved!
So her site is on her arm....
And all is well!
(Yeah, she's rockin' the shades in doors... and it's like 30 degrees out... I don't know...)
I wish ALL of our D issues are this easy to fix!
** WARNING! Kinda gross pic below...**
THIS is what the tush site looked like when I took it off...
Ouch!! She said it doesn't hurt. But I'm glad she is back the the arm (quietly, of course)! The numbers with that site were as ugly as it looks.