As we enter the home stretch of NaBloPoMo, I'm feeling even closer than ever to my faithful readers! I consider you friends... and since I do, I think I can trust you with a secret.
I have a confession to make.
If the Super Nanny came to our house, I'm pretty sure she'd take issue with the way do things around here. At least when it comes to bedtime.
You see, we take turns putting Sweetpea to bed. (Whoever puts her to bed does not do the overnight check.) We turn on her music - the same music she's listened to at bedtime since she was born. We tuck her in and give her kisses. Sometimes we read books. And then.... we lay with her until she goes to sleep.
It wasn't always this way. Before D entered our lives, we rock stars with the bed time routine. She was still in a crib and had never made any attempts to get out. We converted the crib to a toddler bed. We would turn on her music, tuck her in, read her stories... and then we'd leave. Easy peasy lemon squeezy.
She always fell asleep right away. Same thing for naps - the 2 hour naps she was still taking at 3. Now I know it was because she was sick. But then... we enjoyed the sleep!
In the hospital, we were with her every minute. We both slept in the hospital room. We took turns... one of us would sleep in the hospital bed with her and the other would sleep on the little pull out "couch" thing.
When we got home - after a week of doing that - she cried at bedtime. She was scared. And we'd been through so much. We were scared, too. So we laid with her until she fell asleep.
Once she got healthy, she no longer needed a nap. Ironic because we needed naps more than ever! And we just fell into the habit of laying with her until she went to sleep.
I think we ALL needed the reassurance.
Well, J decided a while ago that we needed a "new plan". The "new plan" was that we would do our routine and lay with her for FIVE MINUTES. Then we would leave. *sigh* She cried. She needed drinks. Had to go potty. You name it... she'd ask for it once she went to bed. We'd hear her little voice in the baby monitor saying "MOM! DAD! It's IMPORTANT! COME QUICK!"
Daddy's plan didn't last long. Sweetpea said, "Daddy. I don't like your plan. I think we need a new plan. The new plan is that you stay with me. Ok?"
I know. I can just see Super Nanny looking over her glasses at us. Judging us. Telling us not to let her be in control. I know....
I have another confession to make....
I don't just lay with her when she goes to bed. Sometimes I sleep with her. Not all the time. But if we're having a rough night... I do it. It's a matter of survival. I can't function without sleep. And I can get more sleep if I sleep in her bed some nights. It's easier for me to just roll over and look at Dexie than to get up and go into her room....
In fact, we rearranged our rooms to make this happen. The thought came to me one night when I was laying in her bed - her twin bed - and was wedged up against the wall with a little arm draped over my neck and a little foot shoved under my back. I was uncomfortable. But I needed sleep. And I knew Dexie would be beeping again soon...
So I laid there and plotted my strategy.
We have 4 bedrooms. The master, Sweetpea's bedroom, a play room, and a guest room. We had a double bed in the guest room. We couldn't move it into Sweetpea's room because it was the smallest bedroom. We didn't want to move her into the guest room because it was on the other side of the house. So... we moved her into the playroom, the playroom into the guest room and the guest room into Sweetpea's room. Confused yet? It was crazy. And a lot of work. But worth it. Now she has a double bed. And I am very comfortable when I bunk with her for the night!
I'm sure Super Nanny would disapprove.
But here's the thing...
I LIKE laying with her until she goes to sleep. I like talking with her and snuggling with her - sometimes it's the only time I get the chance. Sometimes, I lay there well after she goes to sleep.... just watching her.
I LOVE watching her little chest rise and fall with breath. I LOVE looking at those beautiful, long eyelashes and the little pink lips that part so slightly when she sleeps. I LOVE how her curly blond hair falls over her princess pillow. I LOVE the softness of her chubby little cheeks. I LOVE how peaceful she looks.
She looks like a little angel.
And, truthfully, I feel safer being next to her.
You see, I LOVE it. I am so utterly THANKFUL that I still have my baby - ALIVE and HEALTHY - that I'm not at all ashamed to tell you this.
I do it because I KNOW how fragile life is. I KNOW we are not guaranteed one more day. I KNOW that she is going to grow up before we can blink - and she won't want us to lay with her at night. She won't want to snuggle with me or tell me about her day. So... I'm going to LOVE her and cherish my time with her every single chance I get.
I've got one more confession to make...
One more little secret....
I couldn't care less what Super Nanny or anyone else thinks about this!
I think this is one of the best things about the DOC. We respect one another. I may not treat Sweetpea's D the way you treat your D - or your child's D. And that's ok - because we are all different.
What works for us may or may not work for you. Some people like Medtronic (Hi Meri!). Some people prefer the Omnipod. (Hi Laura!) Some people choose to stay on MDI (Hi Joanne!). And that's ok - because it works.
Some people treat lows with juice. Some with glucose tabs. Some with pudding.... Some people can eat pizza with no problem and for some it's a nightmare.
I would never criticize anyone's decisions for THEIR CHILD or for THEMSELVES because I trust that they know best. They are the expert of their own lives.
The beauty of this online community is that acceptance. That knowing that we may do things differently or support different organizations but our goal is the same... and a lot of what we're dealing with is the same. And THAT is the part that really matters.
I guess my point is this.... To Thine Own Self Be True. Do your own thing. Wear mismatched socks if it makes you happy. Breastfeed until YOU want to stop. Or don't breastfeed at all. Only buy organic. Wonder what organic is. Blog. Don't blog. Have 19 children. Have no children. Have no issue with being called a "diabetic". Prefer the term "person with diabetes". Like dogs. Like cats. WHATEVER.
Be YOU. Because you are an original. And THAT is who people want to see.
I love that quote... "Because the people who matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter".
So go on out there and live YOUR LIFE - Your Diabetic Life - YOUR WAY.
Super Nanny be damned!