Monday, November 29, 2010

Super Nanny Be Damned

As we enter the home stretch of NaBloPoMo, I'm feeling even closer than ever to my faithful readers!  I consider you friends... and since I do, I think I can trust you with a secret.

I have a confession to make.

If the Super Nanny came to our house, I'm pretty sure she'd take issue with the way do things around here.  At least when it comes to bedtime.

You see, we take turns putting Sweetpea to bed.  (Whoever puts her to bed does not do the overnight check.)  We turn on her music - the same music she's listened to at bedtime since she was born.  We tuck her in and give her kisses.  Sometimes we read books.  And then.... we lay with her until she goes to sleep.




It wasn't always this way.  Before D entered our lives, we rock stars with the bed time routine.  She was still in a crib and had never made any attempts to get out.  We converted the crib to a toddler bed.  We would turn on her music, tuck her in, read her stories... and then we'd leave.  Easy peasy lemon squeezy.


She always fell asleep right away.  Same thing for naps - the 2 hour naps she was still taking at 3.  Now I know it was because she was sick.  But then... we enjoyed the sleep!


In the hospital, we were with her every minute.  We both slept in the hospital room.  We took turns... one of us would sleep in the hospital bed with her and the other would sleep on the little pull out "couch" thing.  






When we got home - after a week of doing that - she cried at bedtime.  She was scared.  And we'd been through so much.  We were scared, too.  So we laid with her until she fell asleep.


Once she got healthy, she no longer needed a nap.  Ironic because we needed naps more than ever!  And we just fell into the habit of laying with her until she went to sleep.


I think we ALL needed the reassurance.




Well, J decided a while ago that we needed a "new plan".  The "new plan" was that we would do our routine and lay with her for FIVE MINUTES.  Then we would leave.  *sigh*  She cried.  She needed drinks.  Had to go potty.  You name it... she'd ask for it once she went to bed.  We'd hear her little voice in the baby monitor saying "MOM!  DAD!  It's IMPORTANT!  COME QUICK!"


Daddy's plan didn't last long.  Sweetpea said, "Daddy.  I don't like your plan.  I think we need a new plan.  The new plan is that you stay with me.  Ok?"


I know.  I can just see Super Nanny looking over her glasses at us.  Judging us.  Telling us not to let her be in control.  I know....


I have another confession to make....


I don't just lay with her when she goes to bed.  Sometimes I sleep with her.  Not all the time.  But if we're having a rough night... I do it.  It's a matter of survival.  I can't function without sleep.  And I can get more sleep if I sleep in her bed some nights.  It's easier for me to just roll over and look at Dexie than to get up and go into her room....  






In fact, we rearranged our rooms to make this happen.  The thought came to me one night when I was laying in her bed - her twin bed - and was wedged up against the wall with a little arm draped over my neck and a little foot shoved under my back.  I was uncomfortable.  But I needed sleep.  And I knew Dexie would be beeping again soon...


So I laid there and plotted my strategy.  


We have 4 bedrooms.  The master, Sweetpea's bedroom, a play room, and a guest room.  We had a double bed in the guest room.  We couldn't move it into Sweetpea's room because it was the smallest bedroom.  We didn't want to move her into the guest room because it was on the other side of the house.  So... we moved her into the playroom, the playroom into the guest room and the guest room into Sweetpea's room.  Confused yet?  It was crazy.  And a lot of work.  But worth it.  Now she has a double bed.  And I am very comfortable when I bunk with her for the night!


I'm sure Super Nanny would disapprove.


But here's the thing...


I LIKE laying with her until she goes to sleep.  I like talking with her and snuggling with her - sometimes it's the only time I get the chance. Sometimes, I lay there well after she goes to sleep.... just watching her.




I LOVE watching her little chest rise and fall with breath.  I LOVE looking at those beautiful, long eyelashes and the little pink lips that part so slightly when she sleeps.  I LOVE how her curly blond hair falls over her princess pillow.  I LOVE the softness of her chubby little cheeks.  I LOVE how peaceful she looks.  

She looks like a little angel.


And, truthfully, I feel safer being next to her. 


You see, I LOVE it.  I am so utterly THANKFUL that I still have my baby - ALIVE and HEALTHY - that I'm not at all ashamed to tell you this.  


I do it because I KNOW how fragile life is.  I KNOW we are not guaranteed one more day.  I KNOW that she is going to grow up before we can blink - and she won't want us to lay with her at night.  She won't want to snuggle with me or tell me about her day.  So... I'm going to LOVE her and cherish my time with her every single chance I get.

I've got one more confession to make...  


One more little secret....


I couldn't care less what Super Nanny or anyone else thinks about this!


I think this is one of the best things about the DOC.  We respect one another.  I may not treat Sweetpea's D the way you treat your D - or your child's D.  And that's ok - because we are all different.  


What works for us may or may not work for you.  Some people like Medtronic (Hi Meri!).  Some people prefer the Omnipod.  (Hi Laura!)  Some people choose to stay on MDI (Hi Joanne!).  And that's ok - because it works.


Some people treat lows with juice.  Some with glucose tabs.  Some with pudding.... Some people can eat pizza with no problem and for some it's a nightmare.  


I would never criticize anyone's decisions for THEIR CHILD or for THEMSELVES because I trust that they know best.  They are the expert of their own lives.  


The beauty of this online community is that acceptance.  That knowing that we may do things differently or support different organizations but our goal is the same... and a lot of what we're dealing with is the same.  And THAT is the part that really matters.


I guess my point is this....  To Thine Own Self Be True.  Do your own thing.  Wear mismatched socks if it makes you happy.  Breastfeed until YOU want to stop.  Or don't breastfeed at all.  Only buy organic.  Wonder what organic is.  Blog.  Don't blog.  Have 19 children.  Have no children.  Have no issue with being called a "diabetic".  Prefer the term "person with diabetes".  Like dogs.  Like cats.  WHATEVER.  


Be YOU.  Because you are an original.  And THAT is who people want to see.


I love that quote... "Because the people who matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter".


So go on out there and live YOUR LIFE - Your Diabetic Life - YOUR WAY.


Super Nanny be damned!





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20 comments:

  1. Brian and I raised both jackson and Joshua to sleep on their own. Both do a great job of going to "night night" Joshua doesnt like to snuggle much and nither did Jackson but... now that Jackson is 4 I do snuggle almost every time he naps and most nights. I LOVE sleeping with him. I feel like it is one of things I can do for him since I have to give so much to Joshua. ps. Joshua is still in a crib so snuggling in the bed wouldnt happen. Also if he wakes up at 3 am when we do the night checks and Jackson wants to come to our bed i let him... It doesnt happen every night but I do let him when he wants to. Every time I fear that tonight will be the night that he decides he is to big to snuggle with mommy. WAY to go to you!

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  2. I love sleeping with my girls too :) It's not something we do every night with everyone...but it's so sweet to have them close.

    Just this afternoon, Tink took a nap on my chest while we were watching a movie. I remembered what it was like when she was a baby all snuggled up there. The time goes so fast. I couldn't help but to stay there holding her and stroking her hair. My precious baby.

    The DOC blogging community has taught me that it's okay to do things differently. Before I began blogging I felt attacked every time I was online talking about a management decision that someone else hadn't chosen. My defenses were up ... ready for battle ... and then ... here I found all these people who don't put me down for doing what's best for our situation. It's been such a blessing ;)

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  3. Love sleeping with all my babies too (just not all at the same time)! So happy you figured out a way to fit in a bigger bed!! ;)

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  4. Beautiful, Hallie! We used to be very rigid bedtime people too....but lately, more often than not, I'm pulling Adam into my bed with me. And if my husband is out of town, they are BOTH in bed with me! And I love it. Today I cherished a sweet nap with Adam laying on me for 2 hours. So what if my arm fell asleep! They are only young once...

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  5. When we were in Florida Nate slept in our room and sometimes in our bed. OMG - being able to look at Dex was the best thing EVER!!! EVER!!

    No judgment here!! I live by the theory - If it feels good - do it!! :)

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  6. i agree if u like it i love it! Whenever dh works nights or when he was working full time the boys always slept with me. Yup this was before dx. And now well we cant if dh is home so when he leaves they know mommy and us time. I need to see j breathing and turning his sleep. And i love synsyres cuddles. I guess its why i check justice 4x at night....no judging right ;)

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  7. We had a family bedroom with our oldest until she was about 10 I think and my middle one was 3. Then they both moved into their own rooms. I have been seriously thinking about moving Jesse (now 10) and Josh ,6, back into our room. Jesse is having major anxiety/insomnia issues at night, and then having to check Josh at night, and just in general being nervous about Josh all night, between the two of them, I think we would all sleep much better if we were together. The thing is you have to do what works for you and your family right now, and forget what anyone else thinks about it. Follow your heart and you can't go wrong. It's like nursing. I nursed my kids for a very long time too. I used to say, don't worry. They won't be nursing when they are in college. And guess what? My college student isn't nursing!!! :) She's a perfectly fine, normal, well-adjusted person who nursed until she as 5 (only at bedtime by then). You do what you need to do at the time, what feels right. With the way things have been going for you lately Hallie, I would be in there every night!

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  8. I love sleeping with my boys. My 2 year old comes into our bed every night. I almost can't fall asleep until he is in my arms. Our rule is that he needs to sleep in his bed until our lights are off. Sometimes Bryce will come into our room at night (usually because of nightmares from being high) I love when he does because then I can sleep soundly knowing he is right by my side. I can hear him breath, feel his warmth, and of course, glance at Dex anytime I am curious. My oldest (soon to be 8) rarely ever comes into our bed :-( However, I have woken up before to all three of my boys in bed with me...at that point, my hubby went to sleep on the couch!

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  9. That sounds blissful and perfect! I think SuperNanny might actually approve. But even if she doesn't, who cares, indeed!

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  10. We use to rock the bedtime night scene before D too...

    We don't sleep with Cara because she has her sisters in her room with her and it would be a huge fight over who's turn it was!! But they are constantly getting up for a drink, a kiss, bathroom...grrr it is soooo frustrating!!

    I loved every pic of sweet pea sleeping :) I love the way our babies look when they are sleeping so peacefully.

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  11. I don't sleep with Lovebug for the same reasons as Nicole. All three of my girls are in the same room and they would be fighting over me or my hubby.

    I do however, when she is having a bad night, sometimes have her come downstairs and sleep in our room. I do love those nights when I can just roll over and look at Dexie. It is blissful! So much better the going up and down the stairs all night.

    I agree to that you have to do what works for you, even if it does go against the "norm".

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  12. Screw Supper Nanny!
    There is not much time while they are young to enjoy the little things.

    Anthony already plans to sleep with Justin this weekend. Out of conveinience :)

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  13. I wanted to stand up on my chair and cheer "Say it girl!!!!" Hip-Hip-Hoorah! (I'm glad I didn't, though, because my chair is spinny and on wheels and on a slick surface . . . ;)

    If it ain't broke, don't fix it!

    Who gets to decide what is 'normal', anyway?!

    I am with ya, sista, 100%

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  14. When J was diagnosed as a baby, I spent many many nights crammed up against the wall in his twin bed. BRAVO for taking action! Better sleep for the mama is always worth the effort. And agreed...what is best for you is best for you. Period.

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  15. SuperNanny is over-rated is what I say! We all do what fits our lives and our families and our feelings. That's what great about this community. I applaud you for doing what you do for your little one. No regrets is what I say, no regrets.

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  16. Beautiful post my friend! Love you and your beautiful heart!

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  17. Oh baby! I slept in Ellie's room on a daybed next to her crib for the first 6 months of her life! We ended up moving in with my parents for a few months between selling and buying a house when she was 1 and she ended up in our bed from then on. LITERALLY a month before she was diagnosed (at 3) I had FINALLY got her in her own room and in her own bed at night!!! OMG! Then she's diagnosed...all bets off! I put her on a blow up bed next to our bed when we got home and within a few days she was back in bed with us. Now we are 10 months into D and just last month I finally decided that she is just too big and squirmy to share a bed with us...So I have moved her bed into our room 2 feet away from my side of the bed!!! Now she's back and fourth at will...don't let the whole independence thing get to you! It's like my theory on sip cups...A) till you are here cleaning the spills off my carpet don't comment and B) they don't serve drinks in sip cups at school...she'll figure out how to drink from a cup when it's time and sure enough! She has all on her own! =) ((hugs)) and good nights are those with snuggles!

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  18. You guys are cracking me up!

    Sweets slept in her car seat by my side of the bed when we got home from the hospital because she had such horrid reflux she couldn't lay down. And I was NOT putting her in her room in a car seat alone. Then when she moved to her crib, I slept on the floor in her room. For a long time.

    For the record... I did NOT breastfeed. Never felt guilty. I am a CAT person - although Meri's Lawton keeps nudging me think dogs are pretty cool. I blog (duh). Sometimes buy organic. Have one child. Two cats. Have no issue with the term diabetic. THink my feet would feel like they were burning all day long if I had on mismatched socks it would bother me that bad - it's all about symmetry, folks.

    Now, I'm off to bed. Guess where?!? Bad, bad site change. Tears. My baby needs me. I need her, too. See you tomorrow! :)

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  19. well..I ummm..I can't say anything because not only do I sleep with Isaac, but it's in our bed and he's still nursing. So like you said, to your own self be true...however, no matter what I'd still like more sleep with less interruptions!
    And I love your pics of sweet pea sleeping...I have a million of my boys, it's when they look the most tranquil and like little angels :)

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  20. Addison still sleeps in our bed Hallie and he is almost 4! We keep talking of moving him into his own bed but...it makes night time checks SO much easier and we LOVE snuggling with him. So ..bite me supernanny! I don't feel at all badly or weird about it. When Addison is ready he can move into his own bed..until then..I will say it loud and say it proud..we have a family bed!

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